One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 72

#72 – “Use Palmolive dish soap to shampoo your hair.  It is less expensive than shampoo, and makes your hair really shine.”

Apparently Palmolive dish soap was pretty cheap when I was growing up as we always had it around. The only reason we didn't use Tide, which was even cheaper, for washing our hair and dishes in addition to our clothing, was because it burned your skin!

Mom was frugal, but not just because she grew up in the Great Depression, or because that was the way she was raised. After my dad died and we sold everything to pay off the loans on the road construction equipment (dad owned a fairly lucrative construction company), we were left with no home, an old car, mom’s $300 a month teaching salary, and her undeterred desire to groom me for marriage to someone who could give me a “better” life - or at least to become a strong independent woman capable of giving myself a better life. If washing our hair with dishwashing soap could save a few pennies to buy me a prettier dress, dance lessons, or books to “expand my horizons,” then that’s the way it would be.

When you are a kid you are oblivious to the sacrifices made by your parents, their motives, the what’s and why’s. I recall a child psychologist telling me one time that my kids were more concerned about what time their favorite cartoon was coming on then whether or not I was with them 24-7 - which I had a great deal of difficulty accepting.  

I recall agonizing for three days about having to tell my 8-year-old daughter she couldn’t go swimming because of an ear infection, but that her brothers could. When I told an old friend that I thought I shouldn’t let the boys swim either, he said to me, “You must teach your children to accept disappointment. If you fix everything for them, and they go out into the world and you’re not there to fix things, they are at a disadvantage.” I took his advice. My daughter cried for 5 minutes and got over it.

Bossypants by Tina Fey

Although I didn’t know much about Tina Fey before I read her book, Bossypants, what I think I know about her now is that she and I hide our insecurities behind humor. When going though the life-defining time of Junior High and High School, I was never pretty, smart or nice enough to be cheerleader, valedictorian, or most popular (my generation’s Nobel Prizes of Teenage-dom), so I fell back to baton twirler, clever gal, and class clown. Some of my classmates are probably thinking, “I don’t remember her being clever or funny!” But by gaud, no one can take my twirling medals away from me! So back to Tina Fey and her hilarious and interesting book, Bossypants.

Ever wonder where the fancy pants, smarty pants, bossy pants, linguistic formulation came from? Really? OK. Never mind. Let’s (I’ll) talk about Bossypants.

For those of you similarly unfamiliar with Tina Fey, she is (in her words), “a wide-hipped sarcastic Greek girl." She is also the former head writer for Saturday Night Live, and currently the star and executive producer of the Emmy-winning TV sitcom, "30 Rock.” Bossypants is her subtly deep book about her evolution from middle-class Pennsylvanian misfit to iconic liberal female humorist of the 2000’s. Do conservatives even have humorists?

When I first started Bossypants, I thought, well, this is funny, but it is really just a Tina Fey monologue, which is a ridiculous observation since that’s the whole point of biographies, but it felt like a stand-up comedy routine rather than your typical biography. What I soon came to realize is that Fey is really just too smart to do a straight-up story of her life. She has to weave her comedic magic by hiding her honesty, wisdom, politics and stunning intellect like Easter eggs. Granted, they were hidden like you would hide eggs from a 3-year-old, but that was the coolest part. It wasn’t in your face, but you also didn’t have to work for it. Click on Read More Below...

The Legacy Continues

SueAnn Wade-Crouse - Miss Iraan, Texas Baby 1949 and Miss Iraan 1966.

Mini Miss Texas, 2011, Granddaughter, Khloe Noelke.

Dim Sum for Dummies

Sunday the hubby and I joined Benita and Don Giller for dim sum at Chinatown, and spent amazingly little on a sumptuous and fun meal. Since it had been too many years since I “dim summed,” I performed a little pre-research, hoping to avoid culinary faux pas. What I found was pretty interesting (to me at least), so of course I had to blog about it.

Dim sum, which literally translates to "touch the heart" or “point of the heart” (depending on the source), is a Cantonese term for a type of Chinese dish that involves small individual portions of food usually served in a small steamer basket or on a small plate. Dim sum is also inextricably tied to the experience of "yumcha" or the drinking of tea. 

The drinking of tea is as important to dim sum as the food. Thank gaud I found this out in advance. I would have probably ordered a diet coke!  It is also important to pour tea for others during dim sum before filling one's own cup, which I found to be a particularly civil and sweet ritual. And a custom unique to the Cantonese is to thank the person pouring the tea by tapping the bent index finger if you are single, or by tapping both the index and middle finger if you are married, both of which symbolize 'bowing' to them.

Writing Your Life As A Woman

This is gal-friend, Dean Lofton's writing class. 

I hope you'll consider joining. Dean's one sharp cookie and I think you'll enjoy...

Writing Your Life As A Woman

A class taught in the style of journal writing workshops…

guides women to write their stories and discover their voice…

gentle encouragement in a non-academic, creative environment…

no writing experience necessary...

Summer classes:

Tuesdays, June 7 - 28, 7:00 - 9:00 pm

and

Tuesdays, July 5 - 26, 7:00 - 9:00 pm

4-week sessions meet at

Opal Divine's, 3601 S. Congress

(Penn Field, in the game room)

$70 for 4 weeks, $20 drop-in.

Dean Lofton
Writer, Publicist, Creative Strategy
Austin, Texas
512.636.1346

dean@deanlofton.com

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Look Again by Lisa Scottoline

My Memorial Day weekend goal was to read a book I wouldn’t pick out myself but which came highly recommended by someone whose opinion I respect. I achieved my goal and grudgingly enjoyed Look Again by Lisa Scottoline. You’re probably wondering what that means, or not.

The email from said-respected friend said, “Have you read, Look Again by Lisa Scottoline? If not, it's a good un' - lots of twists, a super bad guy, and a gut wrenching ethical and moral decision.” Based on that snappy one-sentence inducement, I bit and I’m glad I did, sort of.

Could I get any wishy-washier? Yes, but first let’s get the obligatory, “tell what it's about without a spoiler,” out of the way. One of those “Have You Seen This Kid” flyers arrives in single mom,  Ellen's,  mail. The age-progressed picture on the flyer looks almost exactly like her three-year-old adopted son. Things then get weird. And there’s an exciting ending. OK, back to wishy-washy:

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 71

# 71 - “Don’t wear glasses, they make your eyes weak.” 

When writing about the one hundred things mom taught me a million times I usually research the topic de jour, and almost always find surprising scientific research supporting mom’s seemingly off-the-wall beliefs.  And then there are those days when, after looking at the Google links, I feel like I’ve strayed into the Twilight Zone! Today was one of those. Click on arrow below...

When I Googled “wearing glasses makes your eyes weak,” 83 pages of mostly wacko-to-the extreme info popped up. For example: One site claims “glasses and contact lens are merely a crutch for your eyes.” I swear, mom always said glasses are just a crutch! The site further claims, “Your eyes will therefore become lazy and weaker with time.” Mom said that too!  This site, however, was selling “pinhole glasses” that supposedly “exercise” your eyes to make them stronger. I ask you. Would you ride in a car with a driver wearing these?

Fearless Women, Fearless Vision

Mary Ann Halpin is compiling the next edition of her wildly popular book, Fearless Women, Fearless Vision, and is accepting applications for inclusion.

If you are interested in being in the next edition (you should be), please click here, and mention my friends name, fearless woman, Patti DeNucci.

 If you have questions, please contact Patti by clicking here. She says that being in this book has brought many positive spinoffs.


Click on the arrow below for the full story...

My Weekend in Marfa, Marathon and Alpine

I was scheduled to go to a horseshow in Alpine last weekend to watch my grandson perform, but it was cancelled because of an equine virus outbreak. Unable to cancel my hotel reservations at the Paisano Hotel (photo above left) without a penalty,  I was forced to cowgirl on to Marfa, where I met up with my BFF, Deborah Fondren and another friend from New Mexico, Marcia Smith (photo above right). It was a monotonous weekend of drink, eat, sleep, read, visit galleries, buy useless stuff, and repeat often – my fave!

After entirely too much wine on our balcony (most of which we drank), we retired to Maiya’s for din din, and of course more wine. After dinner my heartier compatriots walked around Marfa taking photos, and I, weary from too many 12-hour workdays and the seven hour drive from Austin, slunk into bed, curled into the fetal position and offered pagan prayers that my wine and pasta would stay where I put them!

Saturday morning we savored  brunch at Cochineal (photo left), visited the Chinati Foundation, Ballroom Marfa, inde/jacobs and several other galleries, then siesta-ed in the warm pm. As happy hour approached, we drove to Marathon for drinky-poos at the Gage Hotel White Buffalo bar.

While in Marathon we visited Eve’s Garden B and B (below, left) and I was reminded of how much I love that place and want to stay there again soon. Although you can’t tell from the outside, it really is the Garden of Eden on the inside, and I love the owner Kate, who is always so generous with her time and prepares the yummiest organic breakfast!

In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin by Eric Larson

Ever wondered what life was like in Berlin right before Teutonic-twit Hitler’s shit hit the fan?
Ever wonder why the German people so enthusiastically embraced the Nazi “let’s get even” party?
 Ever wonder why it took so long for America to wake up and smell the Jewish exterminations?
Me too. I think I gained a clearer insight into these issues reading the Wiki Adolph Hitler page, but Eric Larson’s new book, In the Garden of Beasts (released May 10) was wunderbar!

So what was so wonderful about In the Garden of Beasts? Larson’s writing, of course. The man’s a master storyteller. But two of Larson’s other books are a little more “digestible.” If you haven’t read Isaac’s Storm (1900 Galveston hurricane) and Devil in the White City (1893 Chicago World’s Fair), get to Amazon.com immediately!

Was it the intriguing story of what it was like to live in Berlin during the rise of Hitler’s bile? Well, yes - it was such a provocative and politically tumultuous time. The book title In the Garden of the Beasts refers to Berlin’s central park, the Tiergarten, which literally translates as “Garden of Beasts.” It’s an apt symbol of the beautiful city and country preyed upon by the beast of Nazism. The Tiergarten was also one of the only places people could converse in privacy.

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford

Just exactly why did Genghis Kahn kill an estimated 38 million people, and what did he have to do with the “making of the modern world?” 

First, let us get one thing straight: Genghis Khan is not pronounced Gingus. It is either pronounced Jingus Kahn (per the audio version of Jack Weatherford’s book) or Chingis Hahn (per Wiki). Apparently how to pronounce Genghis Khan’s name, as well as most information about this famous 13^th century character, is highly debatable.  Genghis Khan in traditional Mongolian writing (right).

If it hadn’t been for the mysteriously named The Secret History of the Mongols (author unknown and the oldest surviving Mongolian literary work), we would know relatively little about Genghis Kahn who was originally named Temujin. As with any historical book, however, comes the inevitable prejudice of the writer, the bending of truth, and the resulting foaming-at-the-mouth scholars challenging its veracity.

Unburdened by a scholarly point of reference, I read Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World as “gospel” and enjoyed the hound-dog outa’ it. The more history I read, the more evidence I find that our species is just a fight looking for a place to happen.  And sure enough, Genghis Kahn (nee Temijin) began life kidnapped in a warring raid and pretty much went on to make waging war his life’s work.

All the Time in the World' by E.L. Doctorow

Author E.L. Doctorow (accent on first syllable) may have All the Time in The World, but I don’t. I listened to the audible version of this book during a recent drive to Alpine, and if it hadn’t been on my iPhone, I would have thrown it out the window. Apparently the NY Times reviewer Jess Row and I are the only people in the world who don’t love this book, which is a collection of new and previously published short stories. Row said it well: "A great short story has to function like a black hole, demanding our entire attention, drawing all available light into itself, but Doctorow’s energies are too diffuse and variegated to achieve that effect often."

In a nutshell, All The Time In The World is stream of consciousness writing about despicable characters. Doctorow even admits, "You write to find out what you're writing." One reviewer called it “willfully obscure.”

My sensitivities were put on high alert when in the preface Doctorow said he didn’t believe "…stories collected in a volume have to have a common mark, or tracer, to relate to one another."  Then he said he didn’t believe that they needed to have a resolution or an ending, which sounded like a warning, and it was. Re: despicable characters – granted, characters don’t have to be likable, but I do think that you have to care about who they are, what they’re doing and why. I didn’t. Well, except for the serial husband killer and her accomplice son. They were interesting, in a villainous sense. Click on Read More Below...

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 70

#70 – “Always put on lipstick so you won’t look so washed out.”
(Photo is of The Book Goddesses, clockwise, Debbie Kern, Loralee Martin, Me, Cathy Crabtree, Cathy Weaver, Debbie Tate and Sandra Martin.)
Anyone who knows me knows that I take this one of one hundred things very seriously. You won’t catch me without lipstick very often. It’s sort of a defining characteristic: my trademark. When I told an old boyfriend one time that I bet the first thing that attracted him to me was my boobs, his reply was, “Actually, they were the second and third things. The first was your lips.”

Mom was never without lipstick either, although her choice of color was decidedly more conservative then mine. I lean towards the “Look at Me” reds and “I’m A Hot Bitch” orange. I think there are some self-esteem issues there, but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about lipstick.

I loooove lipstick! I’m the Imelda Marcos of lipstick. I just did a quick and dirty count to see how many tubes of lipstick I had in my makeup drawer, purse and car, and was rather horrified to discover there were only 32! Of course I did do a major purge a couple of weeks ago, taking cast offs to Goodwill.

Aside from the emotional investment, my financial investment in lipstick is also substantial. I figure I buy 2-3 tubes of CoverGirl Outlast All Day Lipcolor (my fave) per month, and at $10 a pop that’s about $360 a year on lipstick. However, I used to wear Chanel Rouge Hydrabase Crème Lipstick, went through 2-3 tubes per month, and those cost $30 a tube or $1,000 per year. Just for giggles, lets calculate a lifetime investment: $50,000! Holy Gloss, that’s just obscene! But then, I got to be me. Click on Read More Below...

The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer

Greek playwright Aristophanes wrote a clever and humorous play in 411 BC about a one-woman mission to end the seemingly endless Peloponnesian War by convincing all the women to withhold sex from their husbands and boyfriends until the war ended. Lysistrata was the woman, the name of the play, and a defining character in my life.

In 1966 I was a just a little country bumpkin raised in a male-dominated west Texas culture. I enrolled in Drama 101 at Dallas County Junior College and after reading Lysistrata for class I felt I’d seen the burning bush. Women had power! But I didn’t see it as sexual power. I saw it as intellectual power, and that made me feel breathlessly powerful.

When I read that The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer was about a community of women in small-town New Jersey who lose their sexual desire, simultaneously to a high school drama class staging of Lysistrata, I snapped it up wondering where in the world Wolitzer would take that theme! Click on Read More Below...

The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee

I’ll bet when author Siddhartha Mukherjee first sent his manuscript for this book to Simon & Shuster the title was A Biography of Cancer. Whoever came up with The Emperor of All Maladies probably got a huge raise!  By any name, it is a very detailed history of a disease that has evaded cure, seemingly since the beginning of time. Even now, in spite of billions of dollars in research and treatment, “the big C” is still our most feared boogieman. I’m usually all over anything remotely related to science, but this book was much like the disease– complex, unrelenting and exhausting!

Publishers Weekly called it “a sweeping epic of obsession,” and that’s on point. I could only read for 20-30 minutes at a sitting without my brain feeling like it was going to spontaneously combust. When I just couldn’t absorb another minute, I’d switch to something lite, like The Biography of Genghis Khan.

I did learn a lot more about the horrendous evolution of mastectomies and chemotherapy; how the immergence of AIDS was intertwined with the fight against cancer; the battles between the treatment and prevention camps; and the never ending “miracle cure” bunny trails. I also learned that Dr. Sidney Farber, Charles E. Dana and Mary Lasker established the first clinic that specialized in cancer care and research, the Dana Farber Cancer Center in Boston, and spent their lives chasing down this “serial killer”. Click on Read More Below...

This and That

Congratulation To Herbert Clayton Noelke V (Quenten) for winning two 1st, one 2nd and one 3rd in the Alpine Horseshow! Photo to the left is of my son, Cuatro (the IV), Quenten, and Bear (horse).

Khloe (right) watches intently as "Bubba" (brother) performs. Won't be too long before Khloe is riding in competition as well!

Love Happens! 

Here's a photo of good friends Teri and Brandon Wade's beautiful wedding in Leakey, TX. That's Debbie Tate standing next to the bride. 

JAZZ Baby! 

 Had lunch last week with friend Dean Lofton (photo left), whose husband Jeff Lofton (photo right) was recently chosen as Austin Jazz Musician of the Year. I am a Patron of Jeff's, which sounds fancier then it really is. I just send them a small check each month to help them "Kick Start" Jeff's new album, "Chasing The VooDoo Down," which is superb!  Three things:

1. Join me in becoming a Jeff Lofton Patron - just a little each month doesn't hurt, but helps a lot! Click here!
2. Go to Jeff's CD release party at the Cactus Cafe, 8:30 pm, Saturday, May 14.
3. You can see Jeff every Wednesday at Maria Maria and Thursdays at Ruth's Chris.
4. For a sample of Jeff's cool, cool jazz, click here

.

This and That

WEST TEXAS FIRES:
This photo (left) was taken from my son's front yard on the kids' ranch in west Texas during the worst of the fires. Fortunately, the fire didn't make it to their house, but the power lines burned so they were without electricity for a couple of days.
Fires all over Texas! Horrible! Too much wind, too little rain!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!:  

Hubby and me  (right) on our way to the Broken Spoke to do a little chicken fry eatin', Lone Star drinkin', and belt buckle polishin' for my birthday.  Didn't stay long as we're just not that into late nights anymore, and I can only drink two beers, but it was still fun.

NEW MEXICO VS TEXAS ROLLERGIRLS:
Photo (left) is of best friend Deb and her boyfriend Joe (visiting from New Mexico), double-teaming a Ramonas Rollergirl (c). Deb, Joe, Crouse and I had a blast watching the Texecutioners Rollergirls annihilate the Cincinnati Black Sheep Rollergirls last Sunday at the convention center.  Not sure of this rollergals name, but it was probably something like The Killa Sal Monella, Babe Ruthless, or Sinnerfold.

G'RAJ MAHAL:
After rollergirls we rolled over to Rainey Street for   samosas, curry, naan, fab lamb, and Gypsy music. Magic!

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls

When an author writes a book that is smashingly popular, i.e., Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle, I tend to avoid their next book, suspecting that the publisher is capitalizing on the author’s momentum to sell inferior work. I loved The Glass Castle; had put Walls on a pedestal; and didn’t want to be disappointed by Half Broke Horses. I wasn’t.

It didn’t take long for Walls to hook me. First sentence out the chute told me she knew about animals, “Those old cows knew trouble was coming before we did.” Then on page six she revealed that the subject of her book, her grandmother, Lily Casey Smith, was born in West Texas near the Pecos River. So was I. Lily was a horsewoman born in 1901. My mom Willie was a horsewoman born in 1907.

Story goes like this. Lily Casey was born in a sod house on a desolate Texas prairie to a couple of eccentric parents (mom a wannabe “Lady,” dad preoccupied with litigation over disputed land). Even as a small child seems Lily had more sense then the rest of the family put together. As she said, “I used to break horses. I know how to take a fall.”

After the family moved to New Mexico, Lily was sent to boarding school in Santa Fe, but her father blew the tuition money on four Great Danes, which he saw as an investment. So at the age of 15, Lily strides her half broke horse Patches and rides 28 days, by herself, to northern Arizona to take a job teaching in a one-room schoolhouse. And although she drinks, races horses for money and plays a mean hand of poker, she gets fired for telling Mormon girls they have a choice. Click on Read More Below...

Unfamiliar Fishes by Sarah Vowell

Beyond James Mitchner’s book Hawaii, my minimal recall of the history of Pearl Harbor, and my 17-day stay on the island of Molokai in 2009, I didn't really know much about Hawaii. After reading Sarah Vowell’s new book, Unfamiliar Fishes,  I’m not sure I'll ever eat pineapple again (Apparently Mr. Dole was an a-hole, robber baron).

The leading 1800’s Hawaiian historian, Davida Malo, leery of the missionaries’ descent upon Hawaii, wrote of his concerns that "unfamiliar fishes" would soon dominate the islands. He wasn’t wrong. Vowell’s latest and typically unique and clever perspective on history is nevertheless a too familiar story of how religion and greed justify their plunders.  

Vowell parallels the United States’ manifest destiny rape of the Native American culture to that of Hawaii; however, she doesn’t play the Hawaiians as poor victims, but rather participants in their own demise. I liked what one reviewer said, “She [Vowell] has not written a story of good and evil, choosing sides between missionaries and those who ended up losing their land and, in many cases, their lives. This is the story of real people who each had their own reasons for their actions. That doesn't make particular actions right or acceptable but it does allow us knowledge of how events unfolded in a very complex clash of cultures.” 

This line from the book will give you a snapshot of Vowell’s humor  - in this case, re: well-meaning missionaries. "In America, on the ordinate plane of faith versus reason, the X-axis of faith intersects with the Y-axis of reason at the zero point of 'I don't give a damn what you think.'"  Click on Read More Below...

Smart Gals Graze

After a whirlwind trip to San Antonio Thursday (see post below), I tore back to Austin in time for lunch at Z'Tejas Grill Arboretum with Debbie Kern (left) and Benita Giller (right).

Debbie is the Chair of the Children’s Advocacy Center Christopher’s Guild PlayBingo Ladies Luncheon, and Benita is donating some handmade jewelry for their silent auction. If you don't have your table or tickets for this event yet, better hurry! It always sells out because it is crazy fun!

I met Austinite via New York Benita in Italy, and we became fast friends! Benita not only makes great jewelry, check out this post-card sketch and watercolor she did when we were in San Miguel a couple of years ago. She is just one of those hyper-creative people.

Debbie is simply superwoman. She just lost 20 pounds for gauds sake! I could go on and on about her, but suffice it to say that I worship her.

Debbie and Benita and I are convinced that we need to make a trip to Santa Fe together, and if I can find the money and time, I may go to London with Debbie in May!

Woo Hoo! I adore these two smart gals!!

HOPPY BUNNIES

I broke the law all the way to San Antonio Thursday morning so that I could hug and gloat over my grandchildren Cassie-4 (below), Will-5 (right) and Sydney-10 (left), at Grandparents day at St. Mary’s Hall.  I look forward to driving to Alpine next weekend to watch Quenten-8 take all the ribbons and probably a belt buckle at a horse show while his 15-mo-old sister Khloe winds me further around her little finger (photos next week!)

Click on the arrow below to see funny bunnies (clockwise) Will, Cassie, Khloe, Quenten and Sydney sing and dance - pretty funny - very cute!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Smart Gals Sip

Lynn Meredith and Katherine McAllen (l-r)

Yours truly could have sat and listened for hours to Lynn Meredith and Katherine McAllen converse. Their discussion about the Jesuits made me want to rush out and buy a book about this mysterious and completely fascinating order of “God’s Marines!” - but back to Lynn and Katherine.

Before Lynn, Katherine and I met for drinks on the patio at the Four Seasons last Thursday, I actually knew more of Lynn than about her. I knew that she was notoriously sharp, and that she and her husband are former Dell-ites and active in many local philanthropic activities. But what I now know is that Lynn is also an enjoyable, interesting gal. We talked about blogging, kids, living downtown, the adorable necklace she was wearing and which I so coveted (see photo above), and lots of other things that gave me a tiny peek into her world.

Katie McAllen is my daughter’s sister-in-law, and one of my favorite people. She and her husband live and ranch in South Texas and have two precious little kiddos. I wanted Katie and Lynn to meet because of their mutual interest in the Blanton Museum. Katie is on the verge of completing her PhD in Art History at Harvard, and has made several talks at the Blanton, and Lynn and her family are great supporters of the Blanton.  Sure enough, the magic happened and before long Katie and Lynn had forged a relationship that I believe will lead to good things.

One of the “fun-est” things about bringing gals together is when we discover the “Kevin Bacon degrees of separation” between them. When I asked Katie where she and the family were staying while in Austin, she said, “We’re staying with Kay and Eric Moreland,” to which Lynn replied, “I just sent Eric an email this morning!”

As we were leaving, Katie told Lynn that she’d like to pick her brain sometime about the intricacies of board service. I later told Katie that she couldn’t find a better mentor. I know that when the going gets tough, savvy boards get Lynn. Bringing these two Very Smart Gals together wasn’t easy because they are both crazy busy, but it was completely worth the effort! 

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 69

#69 - "You can get away with wearing short hair because you have good features."
Photo is of me and my oldest granddaughter, taken this weekend at Amy's.
What mom was trying to teach me through #69, is not entirely clear to me,  but it feels like a backhanded compliment. Like the one I got from an 18-year-old cutie when I was 30-something, “You’re pretty sexy for an old lady.”

Mom was an enigma. She was a feminist and patriarchal, so #69 is typical of her teaching. She apparently didn’t think that women should wear short hair because it made them less feminine, but you could “get away with it” if you had good “features.”

One of the bases for Mom’s #69 was that she was always very self-conscious about her ears, which admittedly were a little large. I remember mom saying how relieved she was when I was born with small ears, as though I would have been tossed off a cliff if they were unacceptably large! Tragically, I think my ears are getting larger with age – especially my lobes, which after years of heavy earrings and jumping up and down to music at rock concerts (many years ago), have sagged to near-comical proportions. One of these days when I have money to burn (ha ha), I may have them reduced to little delicate petals!

And my nose - well, my dad used to say, “The reason the Wades have such big noses is because they keep them out of other people’s business and give them a chance to grow!” Mom and dad both had prominent noses, so I was inescapably destined to have a substantial schnoz. Click on Read More Below...

HELL ON WHEELS!

I bought VIP tickets again this year for the Texas Rollergirls. You may recall that Rachel Muir went with me last year and we had a blast. If you’re interested and available on one of the below dates, let me know ASAP first come first served!

Sunday, May 15
Saturday, June 11
Saturday, Aug. 6

Still Alice by Lisa Genova

I will never know my mom’s last thoughts because she couldn’t organize or articulate them. I didn’t think she had last thoughts. After reading Still Alice I’m not so sure. I wish I’d read Still Alice before my mom died.

Still Alice by first-time author Lisa Genova is a novel about a Harvard professor at the height of her career, who at the age of 50 develops early-onset Alzheimer’s. The fact that my book club argued about whether this was a true story or not (it is not) is a clear indication to me of just how real the story felt. My mom didn’t die of Alzheimer’s, but she did struggle with dementia and eventually lapsed into total disconnect being unable to recognize family, lacking the ability to articulate, etc.

Although Still Alice is a work of fiction, I tend to believe Lisa Genova’s portrayal of Alice and her illness, and how her illness affects her family for the following reasons:
1. Lisa Genova graduated valedictorian from Bates College with a degree in Biopsychology and has a Ph.D. in Neuroscience from Harvard University. She has done research on the molecular etiology of depression, Parkinson's disease, drug addiction, and memory loss following stroke.
2. Still Alice felt like a close friend, updating me on her life over a cup of coffee, intimate and palpable.
3. The fact that the story is told from the perspective of Alice, as she descends into Alzheimer’s, made it raw with tension.

I won’t disclose more about how the story unfolds because that is part of the “intrigue” that makes this a great read. I’ll just end with this: If I could go back in time to when my mom became mute and disconnected, I would say to her, “I understand that you have thoughts that you cannot express, so I want you to know that I realize this and am sorry that you cannot express those thoughts. I also know that you love me as much as I love you.”