Sunday, June 27, 2010

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 42

#42 “When you get a run in your hose don't throw them away, you can stop the run with clear nail polish.”

I remember with horror the many times when I was a kid and saw the tops of my mom’s stocking and garters (not to be confused with a garter belt) creeping down below the hem of her skirt, the folds of stockings slumped around her ankles, and yes …. the telltale swabs of nail polish marking the end of a run. Mom being the frugal and low-paid teacher she was, would often use whatever color of nail polish she had, as many times as needed, so occasionally her legs looked like she’d been in a paintball fight. I swore as a kid that I’d never lets my hose sag or dab them with nail polish.  

First there were the girdles that held up my stockings, which was ridiculous since I was 18 and had as Melanie Griffith said in the movie “Working Girl,” a mind for business and a body for sin,” (not that I knew it at the time, however.) Then, much to my relief (ha ha) they invented pantyhose. Little did I know what a horrible piece of undies those would prove to be, and I won’t waste time decrying the horrors of pantyhose because if you’re a woman you know, and if you’re a man, you wouldn’t understand (except perhaps the challenges of getting them off a woman during the heat of passion [in a car, added by my husband]). Click on Read More Below ...

 Just looking at this photo gives me the creeps. And yes, I admit that I used polish to stop runs, and the hose sagging to reveal a blob of what looked like a luggie stuck to my leg. Who could afford to buy pantyhose every time they got a run? I remember buying the little eggs of L’eggs by the bushels. Good grief! What were we thinking?

I even went through a period (circa 1980-1990) of eschewing pantyhose and reverting back to wearing stockings and garter belts.  One time when I was at mom’s, she gave me two silver dollars and told me that when she was young she used them to hold up her stockings. She showed me how to fold the top of the stocking over the silver dollar, then twist the dollar until the top of the stocking was tight, then tuck it back into itself. I still have those two silver dollars. Then, thank goodness the fashion industry got a brain and stopped with the hose thing. Free, free at last!

So what about mom’s lesson #42? Well, you know that hose could come back into fashion any day. And although you say you’ll never fall for that again, we said the same thing about platform shoes and hip hugger jeans.

So mom was right, “When you get a run in your hose don't throw them away, you can stop the run with clear nail polish.”

Hope you’re having a great weekend.


1 comment:

  1. love that post
    memories of stockings stuck to my legs with red nail polish
    and yes, HATE pantyhose AND girdles ( a ridiculous accoutrement for a teenager in the late 60's, but then Twiggy was the fashion Icon, so had no idea how good I really looked!)