One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 64

#64 – Don't pick your nose. It will make your nostrils large.

“Honey, give me a number between 64 and 112,” I yelled over the din of my hubby empting the dishwasher. I was sitting at my computer trying to conjure my muse before the three San Antonio grandkids arrived to fill my weekend with Lucky Charms, hot tub raisin-fingers and incomparable love.

“Eightyyyyy-seven he yelled back,” then asked, “What is it?” “I can’t tell you," I whined. "It’s too terrible,”

He drifted into the living room, a puzzled look on his face, cooking tongs in one hand, lime squeezer in the other and said, “You’re going to post it on your blog for millions of people to see, but you can’t tell me?” “No!” I insist, and he walks back into the kitchen shaking his head.

(SueAnn takes a deep breath here.)
OK, at the risk of ostracizing my friends and being stigmatized forever, I have a confession. My mom told me a million times not to pick my nose because as a child, I was a habitual nose picker. Excuse me while I go wash my hands and brush my teeth.

At this point, I know for a fact that my best friends are saying, “What do you mean, ‘when you were a child?’” New friend Lynn is now probably emailing me to cancel our lunch.

For gaud’s sake don’t any of you have a secret disgusting habit? OK. Here’s the deal, and way more detail than you probably want, but I feel compelled to defend myself. My nose is perpetually dry. I use tissues, I do. But sometimes the ‘you know what’ is of a consistency that it just won’t come out when I blow.

Oh the humanity! I can’t talk about this anymore. Let’s just leave it at “Mom was right, don’t pick your nose. It will make your nostrils big.” It apparently severely damages your good judgment as well. I’m going to go take a shower now.