It feels like parental blasphemy saying this out loud to my children and grandchildren. Parents are supposed to be the pillars of strength for their children and examples of how all adversity in life can be overcome.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
100 Things I Want to Tell My Children and Grandchildren: #19
(Seriously, you can't take life too seriously - photo was taken April
2016, private rooftop hot tub, penthouse, Holland Hotel, Alpine, TX)
There will be days when you ask yourself, “What’s the point?”
It feels like parental blasphemy saying this out loud to my children and grandchildren. Parents are supposed to be the pillars of strength for their children and examples of how all adversity in life can be overcome.
It feels like parental blasphemy saying this out loud to my children and grandchildren. Parents are supposed to be the pillars of strength for their children and examples of how all adversity in life can be overcome.
On the other hand, if we never tell our
children there will be days when they feel like total failures, and we know
that because we too have had those days, they may feel alone in their failure,
and not see that everyone has those days, and they may not see the opportunity
to realize the point of their lives.
There are many days when I feel like the
hamster in the wheel, running nowhere, with no foreseeable finish line in
sight. And then I think of the fortune I
already hold in my grasp – my beloved companion, my treasured family, my
friends/my anchors, health and the capacity to support myself, a huge laugh that
makes every darkness disappear, a touching moment that reminds me how lovely it
feels to feel, memories more valuable than gold. And it is in those moments I
see “the point”, and I feel ashamed, and I forgive myself, and I am thankful
that my life has such an amazing, amazing point.
Cluster Critiques
I think I officially fell in love with my high school sweetheart when he gave me a Beach Boys album for my 15th birthday. The Beach Boys’ Surfin' USA, Surfer Girl –
these were the songs that defined my teen-dom. When they sang, “I wish they
could all be California girls,” I wanted to be that blond-haired, deep-tanned
beach-bunny.
I daydreamed of a surfer’s life. But my first experience in the ocean was terrifying. It was too big, the water felt slimy, the salt stung my eyes and the powerful waves smashed me into the sand. That was the end of my surfing dream.
In New York Times Thad Ziokowski's review of Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life, he says, "It came to seem that surfing, like some pagan mystery cult, might simply defy literary representation...” Ziokowski and I agree. In Barbarian Days, William Finnegan deciphers the code and reveals the mystery of surfing.
I daydreamed of a surfer’s life. But my first experience in the ocean was terrifying. It was too big, the water felt slimy, the salt stung my eyes and the powerful waves smashed me into the sand. That was the end of my surfing dream.
In New York Times Thad Ziokowski's review of Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life, he says, "It came to seem that surfing, like some pagan mystery cult, might simply defy literary representation...” Ziokowski and I agree. In Barbarian Days, William Finnegan deciphers the code and reveals the mystery of surfing.
Finnegan’s accounts of growing up in the 1950-60s in
Southern California and Hawaii, both of which afforded a serious addiction to
surfing, and his sentimental remembrances of surfing friendships and near-death
experiences are interesting and well written, but made less so when Finnegan
stops talking about life and land, and starts talking about ocean and surf. For
it is then his narrative become narcotic, transformative and transportive.
Whether based in prodigious memory or vivid imagination, Finnegan’s precise
surfboard-based narratives put us in his story. We study each surfing location,
the beach access, the weather, the board we will ride that day, the color of
the water and a thousand other details. Our shoulders ache from paddling, we sense
the approaching perfect wave, take off, shifting our weight in minute nuances, and feel the spray of the curl on our face as we race through a tunnel of
infinite shades of blue and green. Barbarian Days is a
nostalgic trip back to the surfing days I never lived, and I loved it.
Carl Iverson, a Vietnam vet with two
Purple Hearts and a Silver Cross is dying of cancer in a nursing home. He’s
also a man who has served 30 years in prison for raping, killing and then
burning the body of a 14-year-old girl who lived next door to him. And he
claims he is innocent.
Joe Talbert is a 21-year-old, barely
scraping by college student and bar bouncer with an alcoholic mother, a brother with Autism, and a class assignment to write a bio about an interesting
person. And that’s where Carl and Joe’s lives intersect, which is fortunate for
us because The Life We Bury by Allen Eskens (pictured) is a pretty
darn good “who done it”!
The more Joe learns the more
convinced he is that Carl Iverson is innocent. But is it just what he wants to
believe because he likes Carl? Is that Carl’s special talent, getting people to
trust him? Why is Joe so obsessed with Carl and the murder? Gaud knows he’s
already got enough on his plate! His mother is spending his college fund on
alcoholic binges and worthless boyfriends and can’t be relied on to take care
of Joe’s brother with Autism.
Author Eskens builds believable and interesting if not likable
characters that schlepp the story along in a well-paced and entertaining manner.
As with any good mystery, we flip the pages of The Life We Bury, certain our suspicions and fears will be verified or disproved on the very next page. Then the story crescendos to a heart racing, satisfying ending. So go ahead and
buy this finalist for the 2015 Edgar Award for Best First Novel. You will enjoy
it and you will enjoy sharing it with others.
I didn’t enjoy Missoula: Rape and the Justice System by Jon
Krakauer (pictured). It was a depressing account of the high rate of rape at
The University of Montana. Typically, but not always, the women were drunk and didn’t cry out, fight or protest because they were
afraid. Typically, but not always, the rapists that were often drunk as well said they thought the women wanted sex, and some of the rapists just
felt they were entitled. The prosecuting authorities tended to not pursue the
few rapes reported, claiming insufficient evidence. The police questioned the
motives of the women reporting the rapes. The raped women suffered
post-traumatic stress syndrome. Krakauer said he chose to write about rape at The
University of Montana, not because it was rampant, but because it was typical
of college campuses.
Krakauer tends to take on tough topics without happy endings, i.e., Into
Thin Air his personal account of the 1997 death of eight climbers on Mt.
Everest. And though I felt for the victims of that book, they didn’t affect me
like the rape victims in Missoula. I never faced death on a mountain but
someone did try to rape me. Fortunately I escaped, but like most women (64-68%)
I didn’t report it. What is most sickening about that is I know he probably
tried again with someone else.
Missoula is a well written, albeit excruciating look at one of the most prolific underreported, and controversial crimes in our society. Read it because we mustn't look away.
Missoula is a well written, albeit excruciating look at one of the most prolific underreported, and controversial crimes in our society. Read it because we mustn't look away.
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