Saturday, January 12, 2013

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times - Chapter 96


#96  “Don't let your sons push their sister around.  If you do, they'll treat their wives the same way.”

I stared at #96 for a long time, and I’m not sure why. OK, that’s a lie. I know why. I didn’t want to write about this lesson because this has been a difficult one for me my entire life.

By the time I came into the world, my parents were older and my siblings were grown and gone, so I had no role models for dealing with male/female aggression/submission. Then I was taught at church that women are subservient to men and a woman’s reward is not on earth but in heaven.  Between the religious dogma and the lack of role models, I allowed myself to be pushed around by my husband, and I allowed my sons to push their sister around.

When I was 28 I backlashed dramatically to become the woman who would never be pushed around again, plowing a 10-year swath through the male gender, showing them just how indomitable I was. I hated men and I hated myself. Thankfully, time and a patient husband helped me learn that it isn’t about dominance; it is about balance.

My children were probably damaged to a degree by my and their dad’s and society’s mistakes, but they also benefited from our triumphs and resilience, and from this they have learned that our lives are not measured by our mistakes, but rather by how well we learn from those mistakes and rise above them.

So mom was right. Don't let your sons push their sisters around. And I would add, don’t let your daughters be pushed around either.


BOOKS – 2012


BEST OF THE BEST
(Click on Book Titles to See My Review)
by Patti Smith

by Jess Walter

by Joshua Foer

by Gillian Flynn

by Andrew Soloman

BEST FICTION:
by Jess Walter

by Gillian Flynn

BEST NON-FICTION:
by Patti Smith

by Joshua Foer

by Andrew Soloman

FICTION YOU WILL ENJOY:
by Taylor Stevens

by Margot Livesey


by Paula McLain


by Hilary Mantel

by Louise Penny

NON-FICTION YOU WILL ENJOY:
by Susan Cain

by D. T. Max

by Charlena Chandler

by Cheryl Strayed

by Debra Weingarten

by James Andrew Miller, Tom Shales 

OK FICTION:
The Snowman 
by Jo Nesbø
The Hunger Games 
by Suzanne Collins
Defending Jacob 
by William Landay
The Tiger's Wife 
by Téa Obreht

OK NON-FICTION:
Manhunt 
by James L. Swanson

DON’T BOTHER FICTION:
The Night Circus 
by Erin Morganstern
The Odds: A Love Story 
by Stewart O’Nan
1Q84 
by Haruki Murakami
Christine Falls 
by Benjamin Black
And When She Was Good 
by Laura Lippman

DON’T BOTHER NON-FICTION:
Ghost In the Wires 
by Kevin Mitnick and William S. Simon

Sunday, January 6, 2013

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2012!