In memory of Jane Dixon Swan who died of COVID-19 yesterday, July 25, 2020

I don’t remember Jane Dixon Swan not being in my young life. She was a great friend and person, and although we sort of lost track of each other after high school, we reunited several years ago - and it was as if we'd never been apart - forever friends.

I remember marathon, all summer-long games of Monopoly with Jane and her brother Gary, and when we got bored with Monopoly we’d go to the draw, a dry creek bed just a few hundred yards behind their house on the edge of our little 1,200-person hometown. We’d build forts and play "house" all day long. 

I want to also take a moment to remember Jane’s wonderful mother Inga, who was such a lovely person. She was from Sweden, and I can still hear her calling out to Jane and Gary, with her Swedish accent, “Yane!” Yary!” 

Jane went on to become a teacher and eventually retired as the librarian in Fredericksburg. She was also a grandmother, and last I spoke with her she was loving that wonderful adventure. 

Jane was always a great, easy-going girl and woman and I am very saddened by her death and can't imagine the anxiety her family went through with Jane's COVID, and the grief over the death of their mother, grandmother and sister. 

Rest in Peace Jane. You were loved by many, and will be missed.

100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren, #37

When times are hard, be your best self, not your worst.

I’ve been so angry, tense and scared the last six months – especially the last three months. Just this week, when I tried to turn left across traffic into a gas station and realized, because of a road divider I couldn’t, I screamed “f**k”, and pounded my hand on my steering wheel. My outburst felt irrationally violent, and of late, common. Composing myself, I said to my husband, “I think I’ve said f**k more in the last three month than in the total of my entire life”. Due to numerous strokes, he never says much, but as my constant companion, is forced to witness my more and more frequent anger, and it made me wonder if my kids and grandkids are similarly lashing out at their loved ones in anger and fear during this horribly harsh time. 

So starting today, I’m going to make one small change in my newly acquired, ugly COVID behavior. Each time I want to say f**k. I’m going to think of something I am thankful for – and it can’t always be my husband, kids, grandkids and friends and our health. I’m going to be thankful for my car, a bed to sleep in, good coffee, butter, the view from my home office, books, a beautiful sky, clean water, chocolate, soap, clients, my computer. When you start thinking about all the things you have and take for granted, the list becomes endless. Just making this list made me feel blessed and humble.

Being an adult (even an old one), doesn’t mean you know it all and stop making mistakes. So, what I learned today and what I want to say to my kids and grandkids, is when times are hard, be your best self, not your worst.

Cluster Critiques

With a voracious appetite for learning and a predilection for exceptional writing, my reading compass always spins towards nonfiction and books circulating in the literary mosh pit . That seems to have changed with the onset of COVID-19. I’m stumbling through books I would have previously devoured, like an Andy Warhol biography and Samantha Power’s account of becoming a journalist and eventually President Obama’s US Ambassador to the UN. And of late, I’ve struggled to enjoy some of my favorite writers, like Ann Patchett and Eric Larson. It feels like waking up one day and not being able to stand the taste of chocolate – but then lots of things I couldn’t have imagined have been happening over the past few months. I’ve found myself reading more “escape” books – mysteries, psychological thrillers, and horror. 

Has your taste in books changed with COVID-19? If yes, how?

The Guest List: A Novel by Lucy Foley

Imagine a fairytale wedding in an ancient castle on a mystical island off the northern coast of Ireland. The bride and groom are the picture of physical beauty, romance and business success. Perfect, right? Well, yes, but in the case of The Guest List, it's a perfect nesting-ground for calamity. With almost too many colorful characters shackled together by unforgivable secrets, human frailty, poisonous revenge plots, and yes, murder, Foley artfully spins a tale that metaphorically keeps you on the edge of your seat, guessing and re-guessing who the killer is and who will die. 

The bride receives an anonymous note warning her not to marry her “prince charming”. But from whom? And why? She should toss the note, but she doesn’t and it tightens like a noose around her neck, on the very day she should be the happiest. The maid of honor (sister of the bride) is in nonstop meltdown, the best man and groomsmen digress into obnoxious, juvenile school-days behaviors, the setting and occasion leech-out the worst in everyone, and the owners of the island and castle are hiding something sinister. The tension builds as Foley masterfully see-saws back and forth between the moment of the murder and the buildup in the days before, and it is all terrifically entertaining. Furthermore, the ending is brilliant and completely unexpected.  Read it.

 

If It Bleeds by Stephen King

In If It Bleeds, which is a collection of four novellas, Stephen King characteristically mines the human condition – work, love, death, fear – rubbing our noses in our own frailties, turning ordinary people and issues – cell phones, bullying, media manipulation, untethered ambition -  into VERY disturbing stories. Whether it's subtle or macabre horror, King’s special skill is making us see ourselves in his characters, and making us believe that very scary things can happen to us. What can I say, it’s Stephen King. It’s good, but if you're not a huge Stephen King fan, skip it.

Fair Warning by Michael Connelly

Michael Connelly is one of the few series writers I continue to read because he never disappoints. Some of his books are better than others, but they all are at least pretty good. Fair Warning is one of his best, and features Jack McEvoy, a reporter for a consumer protection website who makes the mistake of a one-night-stand with the wrong gal, who turns up dead – making McEvoy a suspect in her death. Barely evading arrest for her murder, McEvoy is driven to discover the real killer. What begins as a cyberstalking inquiry quickly leads into an intriguing plot involving the black market for DNA (think about that for a minute), and the unbelievable lack of FDA regulation over DNA testing, all of which eventually leads to the capture and conviction of a serial murderer. Fair Warning is a better than average mystery.