One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 52

#52 – “Keep your money in your shoes. That way you don’t have to carry a purse.”

Me, Dorothy, Gloria, Honey and Mom (seated) around 1984.

Not all of the one hundred things my mom taught me a million times seem nuggets of brilliance until closer examination.  Mom was a very practical gal. She knew that one should always have some cash on hand (or foot as it were) … Wow I just had an epiphany! I don’t remember my mom carrying a purse! How does a woman not carry a purse, and why did I have to reach the age of 42, OK 62, to remember that she didn’t carry a purse!

Actually, that explains a lot. Now I know why mom’s car looked like a terribly untidy house. She had to carry everything she needed in her car because she didn’t carry a purse! She had makeup, perfume, pens, pencils, jewelry, checkbooks and glasses on the front seat, and a stack of household bills and other paperwork sliding around on the passenger floor - everything women usually carry in their purses. This also explains why my sisters and I have an aversion to purses. 

Dorothy: “Did you see my new purse?”

Me: “Yeah I saw it. It’s small. Really small, but not as small as my new purse!”

Dorothy: “Where’d you get that?”

Me: “I got it at the getting place. Eat your heart out.” Click on Read More Below...

During the ‘60’s when the Enid Collins purses were all the rage, (did you know those were made in Medina, TX), Dorothy and I bought their smallest box purses, which were about 6 inches long by 4 inched deep and wide – small. There was a science to packing those purses. Everything had to fit just so to get the top to close. It was sweet.  Then of course I had kids and my days of carry a small purse ended.

But back to mom and the money in her shoes. When mom and I shopped or went out to eat, I dreaded when it was time to pay. She’d pull off her high heels and dig for dollars. Then there was the un-crumpling of the bills, the odor of feet, and the look of repulsion on the clerk’s face.

I spent a good bit of my childhood feeling embarrassed by mom’s eccentricities, but you know what, she always had money, and although it may have been odiferous, those bills gave her a little more height, and when you’re 5 foot nothing, every little bit helps. Besides, you gotta' respect a woman that can pull off not carrying a purse.

I have always envied that men can carry everything they need in their pockets. Of course women could too, but it would screw up our silhouettes, so that doesn’t work. I should invent a platform shoe that has little drawers to carry credit cards, cash and lipstick! I could be free at last from that anvil of a purse that I drag around and have always hated!

So mom was right! Keep your money in your shoes. That way you don’t have to carry a purse.