One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times - Chapter 25

#25 – “Don't wear too much makeup. It will make other women distrust you."
(The photo of me and my youngest son, Colt has nothing to do with this blog post - I just like the picture)

This one of one hundred things that my mom taught me a million times, is one I’ve purposely put off talking about because I have such mixed feelings! Just reading and thinking about it makes me feel a little on edge, irritated. Why? Because I don’t want to believe it and intellectually know that it is not an absolute, but in a deeper place, I think it is true, sometimes, and that really, really bothers me. It bothers me that I think it is true, and it bothers me that it could be true. OK. Breathe, breathe. Now, let’s just back up and try to take a little less emotional look at this issue. 

Makeup has a sordid and deadly history. We know Cleopatra wore it - you saw the movie with Elizabeth Taylor, right?  Well, what Cleo/Liz didn’t share was that her lipstick was made from finely crushed carmine beetles mixed with ant's eggs.  This sounds pretty disgusting, but then I strongly suspect that my favorite 99-cent Walgreens lipstick is made out of ground up kittens, by a 4-year old in some 4^th-world country.

Ancient Greek women coated their face with a white powder containing lead, which over time destroyed their complexion, and in some cases killed them. Women during the Middle Ages didn't wear much make-up, (although blush was worn by prostitutes) until Queen Elizabeth (the one that wore the weird white makeup).  Guess what? That high-forehead hairdo she was so fond of - it wasn’t a fashion statement. It was because the lead in her makeup made her hair fall out.

Throughout history there have been attempts to ban women from using cosmetics: not for their health or safety, but because they were considered immoral or contrary to religious beliefs. Clement of Alexandria, proposed a law that would prevent women from using cosmetics lest it tricked their husbands into marrying them; and as recently as 1770 a law was put forward to the British parliament proposing that any marriage that was entered into with a woman who used cosmetics prior to the wedding day could be annulled.

I can just imagine that with the advent of movies and TV women became much more aware of the contrast between them and glamorous movie stars. I spent a good bit of my teens studying the Lady Clairol boxes and the Cover Girl and Maybelline displays at our local drugstore – daydreaming of looking like Kim Novak or Sandra Dee.

Back to the emotional, political, sexual issues. Are women a threat to each other? When I was younger and not that confident of my looks, nor of the other valuable aspects of my being, I thought that I had to be sexy, pretty, glamorous. And I did it to attract men, but I don’t’ think that I did it to win men who were already involved with another woman.

Let me back up – I did for a short period of time – during my “I hate men” phase. But the 1,000 lb irony was that it was the women that they cheated on that were hurt. And I was hurt. My self-esteem was at an all-time low.

At some point I finally woke up – probably about the time I finally figured out that I was smarter than that – or was it because I’d swum the English Channel of men and was ready for greater conquest – or was it because I was getting older and just too damn impatient, cranky and particular to play the game anymore? I don’t know.

I do think that the qualifier “too much” makes a difference, and I do think that when you see a women over-made up you have to wonder what’s she’s up to, but I also bristle at the idea of women not trusting each other and women not being trustworthy.

How you feel about my mom’s lesson #25, “Don't wear too much makeup. It will make other women distrust you.” I'd really like to know. 

SueAnn