Saturday, September 22, 2012

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times - Chapter 93

#93 - "Always wash your mouth out with cool water to freshen your breath."

(pictured l-r, My youngest son Colt, daughter JoLene, the kids' dad Herbie, and eldest son Cuatro)

I recently spent a boatload of money to buy clothes that I wore for 20 minutes at my homecoming football game. Why only 20 minutes? Because for some reason that I don’t truly understand, it was important for me to look good for the 20 minutes that I was there, but it was even more important for me to leave quickly and talk to as few people as possible. 

The basic plan was for me to watch my daughter being presented as her class representative for Exes Homecoming Queen Friday night, and then drive her eldest daughter, Sydney, back to San Antonio for an early Saturday morning volleyball game. I watched the presentation, then slinked back to my car, all the while avoiding eye-contact with anyone who looked vaguely familiar. I did run into and visit with a few friends, best hometown gal-friend, Linda Sue Gage, across-the-street childhood friend, Suzanne Heath, and long-time acquaintances Tommy Joe Holmes and Dwayne Cash, and it was simply delightful to see and visit with them. So why didn't I stay? 

The reason I bring this up in preface to talking about mom’s #93 is because it was during my trip home for homecoming that I recalled this one of one hundred things my mom taught me a million times.  And I needed to vent.

So after the game, Sydney and I drove part way then spent the night in a small town. Next morning I woke up to discover that I didn’t have a toothbrush. I asked Sydney if I could borrow her toothbrush, and she said, “I didn’t bring one. Mom said you’d have one,” and my mom’s #93 came flooding back to me, just as all her lessons eventually do.

I said to Sydney, “Just rinse your mouth out with cool water,” while not truly believing myself that it would do much good.

“Really?” she said, less skeptically then one might expect from a near-teenaged girl.

“Sure!” I said with confidence as I bent over the sink grabbed a mouthful of cool water, sloshed it around enthusiastically, and spit it into the sink. Within seconds, my mouth, which previously tasted as scary as morning breath can, had no taste or smell whatsoever. Seriously!

Of course I can’t leave well enough alone, so I had to Google up “rinse your mouth out with water” just to see what would happen. Sure enough, on the appropriately titled “Healthy Smell” website, I kid you not, it said, “Regularly rinsing your mouth is good for general dental health.”

On the other hand, a website that states its purpose (below) in such a grammatical flawed manner is somewhat lacking in credibility:

Welcome to, a blog that helps people to understand their health problems they have in common. We want to do everything we can to help you manage it.  The all articles publish here are reviewed thoroughly by some related field experts.

I did, however find some other more credible "rinsing your mouth" references online. For example, did you know that if you rinse your mouth with a baking soda and water solution before you go to bed you won’t have morning breath because it creates an alkaline environment in your mouth and bacteria can’t live in an alkaline environment.

I discover the most interesting things when I research mom’s sayings.

Healthfiend Magazine, which smells just slightly less sketchy, says that rinsing your mouth with water helps rebalance your mouth’s pH levels.

And then there's eHow Health, which says:
Bad breath in the morning is inevitable. The morning smell in your mouth is the result of bacteria constantly moving around and producing waste. Fortunately, you can get rid of it by drinking water, which will force the bacteria waste into your stomach.

Yuck! Never mind. I think I’ll just stick with mom’s #93 and spit that bacterial waste out, thank you very much.

So, bottom line, and on some level, mom was right. Always wash your mouth out with cool water to freshen your breath.

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