Saturday, August 1, 2009

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 10

#10 "Always speak to the wife first."
There's something in me that makes me want to dis this lesson that my mom taught me a million times, but deep in my heart, it rings true.

I was single/divorced for many years, and one of my resulting psychosis, was hating men so that they couldn't hurt me. I was hell-bent to prove that all men are robotic louses, only to be toyed with - a stupid role reversal at best.

Fortunately, despite some men's' equally determined goal of proving me right, I've gotten past most of that, but for years I would purposely flirt with husbands, just to send the message to their wives, "he's a prick and don't forget it." Ironically, I ended up alienating the wives, feeding the ego of the men, and reinforcing my own self-loathing.

After a while, and my heart and head healed a little more, I began to regret seeing the sadness or anger in the wives diverted eyes and the Pavlovian behavior of the husbands, and realized that what I really wanted to do was to help women (me included) to understand their own worth and power. So I stopped focusing on hating men and began focusing on liking women (and myself), and many wonderful things happened. I began to develop some life-enriching friendships with women, I learned that good and bad can be genderless, and I became a stronger woman - a woman that could stand tall among men and women.

So mom was right. Always speak to the wife first, because you sure don't want to miss out on an opportunity to become a better person, and that gal could become a really good friend.


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