One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 44

#44 – “If you want to enhance your blond hair, just squeeze a little lemon juice on several strands and sit out in the sun for 20 minutes.”

When I was a teenager, this one of one hundred things my mother taught me a million times flew in the face of some of my most deeply held beliefs. First, I didn’t want to “enhance,” my blond hair, I wanted to “Kim Novak” it to Nordic white, or at least to a Sandra Dee champagne blond! Second, I didn’t know how to sit out in the sun for just 20 minutes! I wasn’t a sun worshipper. I was the Dali Lama of daylight. I was a swimmer and a twirler, two things you couldn’t do indoors – at least not in my little West Texas hometown, so I was out in the sun, a lot. And as a result, my hair was that glorious blond that only the sun, and the most expensive colorist in the world can produce.

During the summers I didn’t spend 15 minutes a day inside. Having had a fairly unsupervised childhood, I would walk the 2-3 miles to the community pool arriving about an hour before it opened, pacing and baking until the lifeguard begrudgingly opened the gate. My friends would come and go during the day, escorted by their conscientious parents. Then at 9 pm, after about 30 “Get out now!” warnings from the lifeguard, I’d drag myself out, and stumble home, exhausted. I did it every day in the summer, except Mondays, when they cleaned the pool, the most dismal day of the week for me. Click on Read More Below...


Then I decided I wanted to wear skimpy outfits and dance around in front of everyone at football games (become a twirler). This required lots of twirling schools, which were weeks-long outdoor camps – more sun, lots of it. Needless to say, I was brown (very), and my hair was blond (very.)

But back to mom’s lesson #44, let’s examine the statement, “If you want to enhance your blond hair, just squeeze a little lemon juice on several strands and sit out in the sun for 20 minutes.”

·      First, mom would never suggest that I dye or color my hair! That was something that “loose” women did, so her choice of the word “enhance” is meaningful. Also note the “several strands” admonition. In mom’s mind, if you were too blonde, no man would ever marry you, so you couldn’t be too careful!

·      Second, she always espoused using “natural” methods, although I never heard her use that word. Let’s just say that mom was selectively leery of “chemicals.”  Truth be told, the “lemon method” probably had as much to do with cost as anything. Mom was all about saving a dime.

·      Finally, in my mom’s mind, the sun was good for only two things – vitamin D and C, and ruining your skin, so believe me when I say that mom would never recommend sitting out in the sun for 20 minutes unless it also involved capturing plenty of the letters in the alphabet.

So, mom was right, “If you want to enhance your blond hair, just squeeze a little lemon juice on several strands and sit out in the sun for 20 minutes.”

More stories from my “California Dreamin'” Tour tomorrow!

SueAnn