Sunday, October 9, 2011

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 77

Photo is of grandbaby #8, Ember Elizabeth Noelke. Welcome to the world soon-to-be very smart little gal!

#77 – “Don't drive with your shoes on; you'll scuff up the heels.”

The memory that comes rushing back to me as I consider #77 originated in 1983. A well known and well-liked Austin philanthropist, who at the time was a struggling attorney, is walking away from me after a meeting. The backs of her high heels are scuffed, and I'm  thinking to myself, she shouldn’t have been driving in those shoes. My memories are riddled with such flashes of validation of mother’s lessons. I never know when they’ll come, but they all eventually do.

Just recently when trying to decide if a pair of shoes should stay for another season or go to Goodwill, I looked at the backs of the heels and sure enough they were scuffed, which was a little perplexing because I always take my heels off when I drive. Actually, I take off whatever shoes I’m wearing when I drive, be it Cole Haan or Croc, not because of mom’s #77 but because my feet are always hot.

This “hot feet” thing has haunted me for years. I can’t sleep with my feet under the covers. I can’t tolerate a sheet covering my feet when I get a massage. I take a fan with me wherever I travel to blow on my feet. I’m not kidding. It’s a problem.

After years of fruitless research, I’ve come up with my own theory about why my feet are so hot. Since I work from home, I go barefoot about 90% of the time, and as a result my feet are very calloused. Callouses prevent heat from escaping from my feet, and therefore they overheat. I should have been a doctor.

But back to scuffed heels and driving. Mom also said that cheap shoes were classifying, and since us Wades are all about looking classier then we are, not wearing scuffed shoes is important. Driving to a meeting? Take off your heels or you might get de-classified!

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