Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen by Mary Norris

Do not read Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen unless you are infatuated with punctuation and its history and misuse, or if you have insomnia. I do not have insomnia.  I read it to further justify my use of the serial comma, the one before “and” in a series of three or more things. Mary is a serial comma user too. I like her.

Sometimes the serial comma is required to ensure clarity:

“This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God.”

And sometimes, as Mary says, “to give starch to the prose.”

Me, I just like making the reader read the way I want them to read. It’s a control thing. Fortunately, my editor tosses them. Believe me, the original draft of this review had at least six more commas.

Mary Norris (pictured) began working at The New Yorker in 1978, and has been a query proofreader at the magazine since 1993, but she could have been a comedian or relaxation therapist as she had me alternately laughing and yawning. Her “behind the scenes” at The New Yorker were interesting, and I loved her story about finding just the right pencil to mark her proofreading. But a vast majority of the book is about commas, the use of the F word, ellipsis and other obscure punctuation marks, why Moby-Dick has a hyphen, and a lot of other things that will mesmerize you and send you to slumber land.

Here are a few fun punctuation jokes to fill out this rather lame review:

Some people find inspiration in cooking their families and their dogs.

A teacher wrote, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard, and told the class to add the correct punctuation.

All the boys wrote, "Woman, without her man, is nothing"

All the girls wrote, "Woman - without her, man is nothing"

Couples Salon - May 30

(left to right) Becky & Rob McEwen - Becky, a warm and genuine Austin gal with deep Texas roots and five generations of family living in Central Texas, happened upon Rob the tall and lanky kiwi on his global walkabout in 1978. Using his consummate marketing skills and charming New Zealand accent, Rob lured Becky back to New Zealand with him when he returned there in 1979. Marriage, 5 years working for Pan American World Airways (Pan Am) and a baby followed, until Austin seduced the couple to return in 1983. Becky pursued a career in the mortgage industry and gave birth to a second child in 1988, while Rob gave birth to a child of his own - a high tech marketing agency. Nineteen years on and mutually burned out with their respective careers, Rob & Becky sought a simpler life back in New Zealand, built a 5-star boutique lodgeoverlooking the majestic Lake Taupo and began hosting travelers from around the globe. Becky runs the lodge and offers massage therapy, while Rob has founded and currently runs a charitable organization focused on electric vehicle education. Rob & Becky have promoted small concerts in Taupo for 8 years, and Rob is enjoying a lifelong dream of playing in a band, and sneaks off to local rivers with a fly rod at every opportunity. Becky frequents the golf course whenever possible, enjoys the walks and hikes of NZ, and is doting on their new granddaughter Emma in San Marcos, where Rob and Becky’s two sons and daughters-in-law live. Rob and Becky are two of our closest (and yet far off) friends. When they traitorously moved back to New Zealand, we gave them the Texas flag that flew over the Texas State Capitol the day Crouse and I were married, and told them to bring it home some day. Since their sons are starting families, I suspect that day is getting closer and closer, but not too soon for us. We’ve shared some epic times together (what we can remember anyway), and we look forward to many more. 

Dean & Jeff Lofton - Dean began freelance writing covering women’s issues in South Carolina in the late 80s.  For 18 years in the southeast and Texas Dean has led Write Your Life as a Woman - a community writing class where they write with pen on paper and share in class. Her new weekly radio segment, Write Now with Dean Lofton, which debuts in May on “Writing on the Air” Wednesdays 6pm on KOOP 91.7FM, features writing prompts and inspiration. In addition, she has recently performed spokesperson and other on-camera / acting work.  Dean also has a PR/media company, The Lofton Agency, at Soma Vida, a co-working space for wellness and creative entrepreneurs on E. Cesar Chavez. In her spare time, Dean is on the Austin steering committee for Annie’s List, and she blogs, where she shares smart ideas, many from her major health recovery made by changing her diet. Jeff is a jazz trumpeter, composer and producer who leads several groups and is known for his Miles Davis tributes. He has a new album coming out later this year called Jericho and will launch a fundraising campaign in May to finish it. His 2009 album “Jazz to the People” made the top albums of the year lists by KUTX and the Austin Chronicle. He has weekly residencies in Austin on Thursdays, 5:30 - 8:30 pm in the lounge at Ruth’s Chris Steak House, and Sundays, 12-4pm, at Zed’s (Jeff Lofton’s Sunday Jazz Brunch). You can stream music and enjoy a few free downloads at jefflofton.com. Jeff was voted “Best Jazz Band” at the 2010-2011 Austin Music Awards during SXSW, and was inducted into the Texas Music Museum. He also won "Best Horn Player" in the 2013-14 Austin Music Awards. Dean and Jeff met in their home state of South Carolina 11 years ago, and soon figured out they’d been in the University of South Carolina marching band together 19 years earlier. They moved to Austin in 2007 to be near Jeff’s daughter, who is now 13 and lives with them full time. Dean is super sharp and Jeff is super talented, and their both just too cool for school.

Kelvin Phillips & Carla Jackson - Kelvin has fifteen years experience as a senior creative manager in some of the world’s largest financial services companies, including Credit Suisse, Morgan Stanley, and Dimensional Fund Advisors.  A certified project management professional (PMP), Kelvin teaches others how to use the time-honored methodology of the Project Management Body of Knowledge to give shape to ideas and find the best means to make them into reality. As an award-winning screenwriter, Kelvin has written feature and short screenplays for many clients, and his work has screened at numerous film festivals, on HBO/Cinemax, and is available online. Kelvin also writes short stories, essays, and poems and is currently writing the biography of his late mother. Kelvin received his Bachelor of Arts in Film Directing from Howard University and Master of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from New York University. Check out this brief from one of Kelvin and Carla’s award-winning films, A Swinging Trio (which you can actually rent on Netflix.) A seasoned marketing and public relations professional with over fifteen years of experience, Carla’s expertise lies with her ability to create favorable business-to-consumer relationships for clients who have included Austin’s Pro Arts Collective, Paradigm Shift, the Austin Community College Center for Public Policy, Nike, the California Wellness Foundation, the California African American Museum, On Your Feet: International Music and Dance Festival, and the Hip Hop International Dance Championship. Carla currently is on staff at Fordham University, where she is Administrator of the Theatre Program. Previously, she served as Director of Marketing on award-winning Broadway and off-Broadway productions, including August Wilson’s Jitney and King Hedley. She received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Theatre Summa Cum Laude from Fordham University in New York; and her Master of Fine Arts degree in Theatre Management from Yale University. I met Carla when I invested in one of her and Kelvin’s films, the wonderful documentary, Black Sun.

100 Things I Want to Tell My Children and Grandchildren: #12

In 1981 while managing a New Mexico ranch, I discovered the previous manager had been murdered.

I’d been working on a copper exploration project around Van Horn and teaching aerobics in the Van Horn High School gym, and although that outdoors and easygoing lifestyle suited me, it did nothing for my upward career movement. It was in fact a sabbatical (associated with a tall, blond hunky engineer). During the day I got to bounce around in a beat up pickup absorbing some of the most beautiful country in Texas, and occasionally cataloguing and graphing core samples. Then in the evenings, I led a rag-tag group of cowgirls, mothers, grandmothers and teens in an hour-long dance and yoga workout to Rick James’ Super Freak and Steve Winwood’s Arc of the Diver. I wasn’t inclined to move back to “civilization” and pantyhose.

Then one morning, while scanning the El Paso Times, I came across an ad for a job: “Wanted, host/hostess – isolated mountain ranch – must be familiar with animal husbandry and horticulture.” I called the phone number in the ad, and drove to El Paso the next day to interview for the job – which I got. On a short flight to the ranch, my new boss, (who was piloting the plane), dropped a small bomb, “The previous manager of the ranch committed suicide, at the ranch.”

Then, during the drive from the tiny airport close to the ranch, he told me the incredible story of how he acquired the property, which was tucked into a high canyon adjacent to Lincoln National Forrest.  He said the ranch was formerly owned by a survivalist commune of around 150 families, who supported themselves growing marijuana underground using grow lamps, and who were busted when the FBI raided the place thinking Patty Hearst was being held captive there by the Symbionese Liberation Army (see famous photo). The IRS garnished the land for back taxes on all the money the commune made selling marijuana, and auctioned the property, which my boss purchased. The commune's self-proclaimed “Messiah” was sent to prison, but had recently been released and had been seen around the area shoeing horses for a living.

For 8 months, I lived in a mountain paradise, raising a large garden, taking care of horses, exploring trails, hiking, and occasionally entertaining my bosses friends who would come for weekend stays to take photos, play cowboy/cowgirl, and soak in the wood fire-heated hot tub. The 5,000 sq. ft. main house, originally build by the survivalists as a tabernacle, was extraordinary. The gigantic kitchen with its hand-built pine dining table and chairs that seated 14, had a huge wood burning stove (on which I cooked) and a greenhouse on one end with a giant grapevine that grew up the rock wall built into the side of the mountain, across the ceiling of the kitchen, and sprouted hanging clusters of grapes. We didn't have electricity, so the house was lit by propane lamps and heated by wood-burning stoves. And in the bunkhouse was a rather large stain of faded maroon marking the spot where I was told Miguel’s life had ended.

Over the course of my unforgettable time at the ranch, and through an equally unforgettable set of circumstances, I discovered (I believed) Miguel had not killed himself, but rather was killed by a South African mercenary hired by my boss. I know that sounds unbelievable, and in fact I could be wrong. I often wonder if I should even be telling this story. If my accusation were ever brought to the attention of the people I believed were involved in the murder and cover up, I could be subject to legal action - or worse. But the knowledge haunts me, and so I continue to tell the story, concealing the exact identities, as a small token of justice for Miguel.

Cluster Critiques

The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters by Rose George

Rose George wrote another book I really enjoyed and reviewed, Ninety Percent of Everything, so I actively sought out her other books and came across The Big Necessity, which in spite of its highly unattractive topic, human waste, is immensely important as disease spread by human waste kills more people worldwide every year than any other single cause of death.

In her quest to uncover the state of shit in our history and our current world, George prowls sewers, quizzes sanitary engineers and visits some of the most backward countries in the world revealing the huge, completely unsolved and deadly problem of human waste disposal. Here are a couple of disturbing facts sure to make your day:

·      2.6 billion people (4 in 10 people worldwide) do not have a toilet.

·      A child dies from diarrhea every 15 seconds (brought on by fecal-contaminated food/water).

In spite of the odious aspects of George’s investigative reporting (i.e. helicopter toilets - plastic bag, poop, throw) there are some incredible colorful stories of almost cartoonish characters whose lives are dedicated to figuring out how to make inexpensive human waste disposal available to people for whom toilets are way down on the list of priorities. In fact, George has a singular talent for turning otherwise icky and boring topics into riveting tales. Okay, so maybe riveting to people like me who are fascinated by such things. The Big Necessity is a terrific toilet tome!

A Fine Romance by Candice Bergen

Candice Bergen is the daughter of famed Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist Edgar Bergen. So what you might say. But if I say Candice Bergen – you know, “Murphy Brown,” you might say, “Oh I love her!” A Fine Romance is Candice Bergen’s life story, with a little about her emotionally detached parents, and a lot about her deeply romantic courtship and marriage to famous French director, Louis Malle (“My Dinner With Andre”), the late-in-life birth of her daughter, and her multi-award winning stint as Murphy Brown.

Bergen doesn’t appear to hold anything back. Her description of her and Malle’s dreamy and extravagant honeymoon in India, their life in Malle’s French castle, and the jaw-dropping list of regular dinner guest, i.e., Richard Avedon, Mike Nichols, Nora Ephron, Elizabeth Taylor, Lorne Michaels, etc. were entertaining and entrancing. One of the things that most impressed me however, was the almost unbelievably grueling hours required of Bergen, year after year, for her performance of Murphy Brown, and yet how very much she appreciated being able to play that part. Her life seemed to be one of such extremes – unfathomable luxury and very hard work. I found Bergen’s story funny, frank and endearing.

All The Light We Cannot See: A Novel by Anthony Doerr

I tend to be a system-bucker. If everyone else says a book is great, I raise an eyebrow and am suspicious. So I almost didn’t read All The Light We Cannot See, and that would have been my loss. I’ve also tired of books set during World War II, and yes, I know we're destined to repeat history if we don't remember it. We’re a disgraceful species. I just wish we learned from our mistakes. But some books aren’t about the setting or the historical circumstances within which they whirl. They are about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances and, if we're lucky, the spun gold narrative the authors create around them. Such is the case with this book, which is so gracefully penned that I almost didn’t care what happened next. I just wanted to read Doerr’s enchanting descriptions of the thoughts and feelings of the characters.

I guess I should tell you what this book is about, and add that it is a charming, heartwarming story that at times feels like a fairytale. There’s WWII, and a French blind girl whose father builds a model of their Paris neighborhood so she can learn to navigate to the museum where he works. There’s a diamond with a curse. There’s a young orphan who is thrown by circumstance into the Hitlerjugend (Hitler Youth organization). And there's the slowly unwinding story of how their lives become intertwined, and the more common of war crimes - the separation from loved ones, daily fear of death, and the loss of any semblance of a future. All The Light We Cannot See is the crème brûlée of 2014 books, simple, luxurious and irresistible.

Stronger Women Better Austin - Women's Fund of Central Texas, March 2015

Please take a moment to read this March 2015, concise and stunning 8-page report "Stronger Women Better Austin" on the status of women in Central Texas, which was produced and published by Women's Fund of Central Texas. Here are a few facts about Travis County women from the report.

• 1 in 4 female-headed households live in poverty;

• Women's median earnings are 30% LOWER than men's across all levels of the education spectrum;

• Teen births -- 29%-US, 44%-TX, 49%-Travis County;

• Of 257 reported rape cases in 2013, 12 arrest were made;

• 50% of female homicides are the result of family violence;

• Very few CEOs of Austin’s largest nonprofit organizations and private companies are women and there are no women CEOs at the top publicly traded companies in our community.

When women do not reach their potential and/or are disenfranchised, children too suffer. The stats on Travis County children (included in this report) are equally heartbreaking.

Gender matters.  It isn't more important, but it is important. What can you do?

Volunteer for and provide financial support for organizations struggling to improve the above conditions.

Do not expect women to be perfect. Appreciate and encourage their strengths and forgive their weaknesses.

Support women.

Thank you Women's Fund of Central Texas for bringing these important issues to the forefront of our consciousness.

Dinner Salons

An Italian invention of the 16th century, a salon is defined by Wiki as “a gathering of people under the roof of an inspiring host, held partly to amuse one another and partly to refine the taste and increase the knowledge of the participants through conversation.” Famous 20th century salons include those of Mabel Dodge with Georgia O'Keeffe and D. H. Lawrence in Greenwich Village in NYC, Gertrude Stein who regularly hosted Picasso and Hemingway in Paris, and Andy Warhol, Patti Smith, Allen Ginsberg and many more, who congregated at the Chelsea Hotel, again in NYC. Crouse and I have hosted some awesome dinner salons recently. These are not particularly great photos, but the guests make the salon and these guests are the best of the best!

(Left to Right) The Honorable Orlinda Naranjo is the presiding judge of the 419th District Court (since 2006). She is originally from New Mexico where she earned her law degree from The University of New Mexico. She is involved in a number of philanthropic organizations and has received a number of honors for that work. She and her husband Jim live on Lake Travis, have a beautiful ranch home in Northern New Mexico, and have two daughters and twin granddaughters. Jim Ewbank is who you would call if you needed to hire a smart bulldog lawyer. Yet he is a gentle father to his two daughters, Alena and McLean, a loving, playful “Pop” to his twin granddaughters, and he’s most comfortable in camouflage or shorts. Loralee Martin is who I want to be when I grow up. She’s a former restaurant owner and chef, and now the glue that holds life together for a power couple here in town whose name you would recognize, but which I cannot divulge. She is also a New York transplant, a serious paddle boarder and my go-to person when I want to know what is cool! Harriett Kirsh Pozen is the most endearing person you will ever meet. She was the mastermind behind the Dell Jewish Center and knows every person in Austin. She is also a well-known music aficionado, frequenting SXSW and other such FAB events.  She has a BA in Latin American Studies from the University of Texas and is fluent in Spanish and Portuguese. Fayruz Benyousef is one of those people that everyone knows, mostly because she’s so genuine and smart, but also because she has been a fundraising kingpin in many local and national philanthropic efforts. She is a graduate of Dickinson College, has her own development consulting business, and she and her husband Malek have a daughter. In addition to being Fayruz’s husband, Malek Ben-Musa is a former professional soccer player turned coach that has been a part of the Austin soccer scene since 1999. Malek is THE designated cook, making delectable North Africa and the Mediterranean dishes. He also loves to fish and travel the world with his family and friends (and he’s a Star Wars freak)!

(Left to Right) Linda Ball & Forrest Preece: Linda Ball casually says she has been retired from computer programming for more than 12 years and "follows along with Forrest in his charity pursuits.” However I believe she was a pioneer in the computer industry in the days when there really were very few women involved in technology. Now Linda enjoys playing tennis three times a week (doubles with mostly 50+ women) weather permitting, and enjoys downtown dining and drinking and walking from the vantage point of their 360 condo at 3rd and Nueces. Forrest has been retired for almost 10 years from running a full-service advertising and PR firm but is now quite busy writing a twice-monthly column in the West Austin News, and with his board positions with Ballet Austin and the Austin Convention and Visitors Bureau. He is also an active supporter of the Pease Park Conservancy and the Austin Public Library Friends Foundation, is an officer of Knights of the Vine, and he and Linda recently joined the advisory council of UT's Butler School of Music. In his spare time, Forrest pursues "the travel and leisure one promises oneself in retirement.” Linda Benjamin & Butch Miles: Originally from Indiana, Linda moved to Seguin in 1996 to become development officer with Texas Lutheran University.  In 2001 she became chief development officer for the National Domestic Violence Hotline and Texas Council on Family Violence. After a few years as a nonprofit consultant, she and her husband Butch retired in Buda. Well, actually Linda retired, Butch, who says he’ll never retire from his life’s calling--music, hails originally from West Virginia but lived in New York and Albuquerque before moving to Austin.  In the early 70s, Butch left his position as Mel Torme’s drummer and was hired personally by Count Basie. After many years on the road working with jazz legends, Butch began teaching jazz at Texas State in 2007.  He continues to perform internationally and pursue the new musical love of his life, teaching and mentoring the next great jazz drummers. Linda says she loves the people, food, and soaring spirit of this part of Texas and never wants to live anywhere else. Sarah Bird & George Jones: Sarah says, "George, the son of a printer, was a picker, stomper, sucker and a baler in his early teen years. (Extra points if you can guess where he worked.) After an engineering career in the public sector focused on water projects for small towns and border colonias, he moved to the private sector. His final project was the design of a municipal pool and park for Eldorado, home of the infamous FLDS’s Yearning for Zion Ranch. Sarah is still grumpy that he didn’t bring home a sister wife. One who loved cooking and washing windows. He’s now pursuing interests in the rock art of pre-historic Texans, traveling, and being a groupie for jazz trumpeter Jeff Lofton." In addition to being a smart-ass (in the most favorable way possible), completely hilarious and a word magician, Sarah is an award winning and critically acclaimed writer (Above The East China Sea, The Gap Year, Yokota Officers Club, Alamo House – and much more). She has been part of Barnes & Noble’s Discover Great Writers series, a Dobie-Paisano Fellow; a National Magazine Award and Illumine Award for Excellence in Fiction winner; an inductee into the Texas Literary Hall of Fame; a Moth Radio Hour storyteller, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.  And the dude in the background? That's our magnificent chef, Roy Daley.