100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren, #38

Be thankful for what you have.

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I admitted I was depressed. My mom always said, “ Never say you are depressed.” Her philosophy being, if you don’t say it, you can’t be it.

 

This #38 started out as my take on “Things you think will make you happy, but probably won’t”. Recent poor decisions I’ve made were weighing on me, but when I tried to write about them yesterday I ended up with the literary version of mixing all your paint colors together – a gray-brown ick. By the end of my day I was not just anxious about my questionable decision-making, but also my writing.

 

Finally at 4 pm I gave up, and my husband and I retreated to the terrace for our daily cocktail and cards. After a prolonged period of mental hand-wringing I hesitantly said to my husband, “Today was very depressing for me. I tried so hard to express my feelings in my blog post, but the words just wouldn’t come, and nothing I tried to say came out right”. 

 

My stoic husband, who for 40 years of his adult life had a photographic memory and could carry a conversation on any topic, but who for the last 10 years, due to numerous strokes, has struggled to find words and can barely speak, looked me in the eyes and said, “That’s what every day is like for me”.

 

At that moment, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more ashamed and embarrassed, and I knew immediately what I needed to say to my children and grandchildren, and even more so to myself.

 

Be thankful for what you have.

Cluster Critiques

A Long Way Home by Myra McIlvain

Imagine your husband will spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair because you chose to drive drunk. Your now disabled husband makes you pay for that mistake every day through verbal and emotional abuse. You’ve been trying for years to think of a guilt-free escape from the marriage. Now imagine you are in the World Trade Center on 9/11, and as the Trade Center collapses, you spontaneously decide to fake your death, knowing your husband will receive the benefits of your life-insurance. That’s how the central character in McIlvain’s book, A Long Way Home, begins her journey – not to the new life she imagined, but rather to a life even further complicated by deception.

 

McIlvain, a master story-teller, plausibly twines this tasty tale about, Meredith Haggerty, a corporate executive in NYC who uses 9/11 to escape to Mexico. But as so often happens in real life, fate intercedes when Meredith meets a priest and ends up teaching English in a small American border community that is fraught with the complexities and dangers of poverty and illegal immigration.   

 

A Long Way Home intrigues us with forbidden romance, danger, a glimpse into the unique challenges experienced by many Latin families, and a whopper of an ending. Does Meredith really escape her obsessed husband. Has she simply traded one brand of sorrow for another? Can Meredith, or any of us for that matter really define our fates? Or are we all just pawns in the game of life?

The End of October: A novel by Lawrence Wright

So, did God come to Austin author Lawrence Wright in a dream one night and say “Lawrence, here’s a tip”. If not, either Wright is psychic or incredibly lucky, as The End of October, which is a book about a pandemic, was published within weeks of America’s acknowledgement of the reality of  COVID.  

 

I’ve read several of Wright’s other books, The Looming Tower, which is about 9/11 and won a Pulitzer, Going Clear, about Scientology, and God Bless Texas, so I knew Wright was an amazing journalist. But reading about a fictional pandemic in the middle of a real pandemic was super spooky, and incongruously enjoyable.

 

The story is about an American microbiologist, Henry Parsons who at the request of the World Health Organization visits the beginnings of a pandemic in a prison in Indonesia. Soon and quickly, due to the spread of the pandemic, and as Parsons spends months trying to get back home to his family, the world begins to crumble in chillingly familiar ways. Schools are closed, the stock market disintegrates, jobs disappear, violence and disorder prevail, and governments implode. Nothing is normal.

 

If Wright had published this book, and I’d read it in 2019, I’d have been mildly horrified or amused. But by the time I read it in May, when the actual horror of COVID was very real, it felt prophetic and sickeningly believable. So, Lawrence can you please let God know he’s made his point?

 

Camino Winds by John Grisham

I gave up on John Grisham years ago when I felt he was becoming predictable and formulaic, but decided to take a chance on Camino Winds in a recent desperate search for a road trip book. 

Hopefully Grisham wrote this book to capitalize on his fans' loyalty, and to make some money. To think he wrote it because it was a story he enjoyed telling would add insult to injury. It was as close to bad as mediocre can get.

The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir by Samantha Power

The Education of an Idealist is for all the idealist out there, like Barrack Obama, many of my friends, and me. And thank goodness for idealists. Otherwise this would be a boring, right brain, very out of balance - or should I say, even more out of balance - world.

 

Infamously known as the Obama campaign foreign policy advisory who referred in the press to Hillary Clinton as a “monster” and was subsequently ousted, Power eventually returned to the Obama Presidential staff, serving in several positions, including the American Ambassador to the United Nations. 

 

The Education of an Idealist is a lot about Power’s inspiring  commitment to  human rights, but it is also about how Power arrived at her idealism, her upbringing Ireland, and eventual immigration to America to embrace American ideals, and about how she managed to grow up, get educated, and gain credibility as an immigrant, diplomat, woman, mother, and yes, idealist.

 

I suspect Power’s story may be “idealized” (sorry), but as an armchair policy wonk, I relished her engrossing stories of world strife, intrigue, victories, defeats, much of it turning in her hands.  What a life! Oh yes, and as one would expect of the almost perfect Samantha, she’s a wonderful writer. 

All Things Left Wild by James Wade

New York City financial analyst and book club member, Suzanne Franks sent me a text saying I should read All Things Left Wild by Austin author James Wade. Without even looking first to see what the book was about I bought and cued it up for an upcoming road trip. Much to my surprise it was a western mystery – two words I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen together!

 

It didn’t take long for me to discover the reason for Suzanne’s recommendation. About 50 pages in, I was hooked into a unique, well-told story, and deeply-mined characters. The setting may have been late 1800’s in the southwest, and the story launched with a failed horse rustling attempt, but because the story focus is the complexities of family and human relationships, it could have been set anywhere, anytime and been just as successful. 

 

Caleb Bentley is on the run with his brother, chased by the rancher whose horses they tried to steal. As the chase plays out, the characters learn about themselves and each other, and we see ourselves and humanity in them and develop empathy and emotional commitment – the key to any good story. 

 

My only negative comment is that the characters occasionally seemed a little too one-sided– too good, too bad – but I forgave that when they were visceral and the writing was tasty (as it mostly was). 

Everyone Knows You Go Home by Natalia Sylvester

I have a hard time embracing book topics I don’t believe in, like extraterrestrial beings, or as in Natalia Sylvester’s book, ghost. Actually, although there is a ghost prominent in this book, it isn’t about ghost, it’s about a family’s illegal immigration from Mexico, and how that is played out in several generations’ history and lives – as told by a ghost. 

 

The ghost is Omar, the deceased father of Isabel’s soon to be husband, Martin. Omar appears to Isabel on her and Martin’s wedding day, asking for her help to repair his relationship with Martin and his mother Elda, who’d he’d abandoned when Martin was young. It wasn’t the ghost that bothered me so much. It was the lack of  story “payoff”. I kept waiting for something to be revealed on page 25, page 50, page 100 – something to compel me to keep reading – a nibble, some clues as to where we were headed – but it just never came, and I sort of gave up. Others who finished the book said the payoff came at the very end, but unfortunately, the narrative wasn’t quite interesting enough to keep my attention. Maybe you’ll like it.

 

In memory of Jane Dixon Swan who died of COVID-19 yesterday, July 25, 2020

I don’t remember Jane Dixon Swan not being in my young life. She was a great friend and person, and although we sort of lost track of each other after high school, we reunited several years ago - and it was as if we'd never been apart - forever friends.

I remember marathon, all summer-long games of Monopoly with Jane and her brother Gary, and when we got bored with Monopoly we’d go to the draw, a dry creek bed just a few hundred yards behind their house on the edge of our little 1,200-person hometown. We’d build forts and play "house" all day long. 

I want to also take a moment to remember Jane’s wonderful mother Inga, who was such a lovely person. She was from Sweden, and I can still hear her calling out to Jane and Gary, with her Swedish accent, “Yane!” Yary!” 

Jane went on to become a teacher and eventually retired as the librarian in Fredericksburg. She was also a grandmother, and last I spoke with her she was loving that wonderful adventure. 

Jane was always a great, easy-going girl and woman and I am very saddened by her death and can't imagine the anxiety her family went through with Jane's COVID, and the grief over the death of their mother, grandmother and sister. 

Rest in Peace Jane. You were loved by many, and will be missed.

100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren, #37

When times are hard, be your best self, not your worst.

I’ve been so angry, tense and scared the last six months – especially the last three months. Just this week, when I tried to turn left across traffic into a gas station and realized, because of a road divider I couldn’t, I screamed “f**k”, and pounded my hand on my steering wheel. My outburst felt irrationally violent, and of late, common. Composing myself, I said to my husband, “I think I’ve said f**k more in the last three month than in the total of my entire life”. Due to numerous strokes, he never says much, but as my constant companion, is forced to witness my more and more frequent anger, and it made me wonder if my kids and grandkids are similarly lashing out at their loved ones in anger and fear during this horribly harsh time. 

So starting today, I’m going to make one small change in my newly acquired, ugly COVID behavior. Each time I want to say f**k. I’m going to think of something I am thankful for – and it can’t always be my husband, kids, grandkids and friends and our health. I’m going to be thankful for my car, a bed to sleep in, good coffee, butter, the view from my home office, books, a beautiful sky, clean water, chocolate, soap, clients, my computer. When you start thinking about all the things you have and take for granted, the list becomes endless. Just making this list made me feel blessed and humble.

Being an adult (even an old one), doesn’t mean you know it all and stop making mistakes. So, what I learned today and what I want to say to my kids and grandkids, is when times are hard, be your best self, not your worst.

Cluster Critiques

With a voracious appetite for learning and a predilection for exceptional writing, my reading compass always spins towards nonfiction and books circulating in the literary mosh pit . That seems to have changed with the onset of COVID-19. I’m stumbling through books I would have previously devoured, like an Andy Warhol biography and Samantha Power’s account of becoming a journalist and eventually President Obama’s US Ambassador to the UN. And of late, I’ve struggled to enjoy some of my favorite writers, like Ann Patchett and Eric Larson. It feels like waking up one day and not being able to stand the taste of chocolate – but then lots of things I couldn’t have imagined have been happening over the past few months. I’ve found myself reading more “escape” books – mysteries, psychological thrillers, and horror. 

Has your taste in books changed with COVID-19? If yes, how?

The Guest List: A Novel by Lucy Foley

Imagine a fairytale wedding in an ancient castle on a mystical island off the northern coast of Ireland. The bride and groom are the picture of physical beauty, romance and business success. Perfect, right? Well, yes, but in the case of The Guest List, it's a perfect nesting-ground for calamity. With almost too many colorful characters shackled together by unforgivable secrets, human frailty, poisonous revenge plots, and yes, murder, Foley artfully spins a tale that metaphorically keeps you on the edge of your seat, guessing and re-guessing who the killer is and who will die. 

The bride receives an anonymous note warning her not to marry her “prince charming”. But from whom? And why? She should toss the note, but she doesn’t and it tightens like a noose around her neck, on the very day she should be the happiest. The maid of honor (sister of the bride) is in nonstop meltdown, the best man and groomsmen digress into obnoxious, juvenile school-days behaviors, the setting and occasion leech-out the worst in everyone, and the owners of the island and castle are hiding something sinister. The tension builds as Foley masterfully see-saws back and forth between the moment of the murder and the buildup in the days before, and it is all terrifically entertaining. Furthermore, the ending is brilliant and completely unexpected.  Read it.

 

If It Bleeds by Stephen King

In If It Bleeds, which is a collection of four novellas, Stephen King characteristically mines the human condition – work, love, death, fear – rubbing our noses in our own frailties, turning ordinary people and issues – cell phones, bullying, media manipulation, untethered ambition -  into VERY disturbing stories. Whether it's subtle or macabre horror, King’s special skill is making us see ourselves in his characters, and making us believe that very scary things can happen to us. What can I say, it’s Stephen King. It’s good, but if you're not a huge Stephen King fan, skip it.

Fair Warning by Michael Connelly

Michael Connelly is one of the few series writers I continue to read because he never disappoints. Some of his books are better than others, but they all are at least pretty good. Fair Warning is one of his best, and features Jack McEvoy, a reporter for a consumer protection website who makes the mistake of a one-night-stand with the wrong gal, who turns up dead – making McEvoy a suspect in her death. Barely evading arrest for her murder, McEvoy is driven to discover the real killer. What begins as a cyberstalking inquiry quickly leads into an intriguing plot involving the black market for DNA (think about that for a minute), and the unbelievable lack of FDA regulation over DNA testing, all of which eventually leads to the capture and conviction of a serial murderer. Fair Warning is a better than average mystery. 

100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren, #36

We’re going to be OK.

As I sit here at my computer reflecting on our world over the first six months of 2020 – the COVID-19 pandemic, the political, religious, and social divisions that are tearing our world apart, I feel guilt and fear. Guilt because I know I am partially to blame for why we are where we are right now, and afraid because I fear I’ll die before we can fix it. 

But those feelings are fleeting, because this isn’t our first rodeo. Earth, America and I have seen rock bottom before and survived, and we will do it again.

My personal grit was inherited from my mom and dad. 

Way before I came along my Dad was a very successful businessman in Oklahoma, but lost it all during the depression. The story goes he gave everything he had to the starving families in Chickasha, Oklahoma. And when he had no more to give, he packed up and moved to Dallas where he open a grocery store (pictured), then to west Texas to become a successful contractor building roads to the oil fields to supply fuel needed during WW II. When my Dad died, there were more than 100 funeral sprays from people all over Texas, and so many “covered dishes” there weren’t enough surfaces in our house to hold them all. In a little town with less than 1,200 people, that speaks to how respected and liked my dad was.

When my mom’s father deserted her and her mother, and her mother was subsequently committed to a mental institution in San Antonio, my mom was raised by her grandmother on a farm north of Dallas. When her grandmother died, as a young teen, mom (pictured) went to live with her uncle, a Judge in Dallas, where she met my dad. She dropped out of school and moved to west Texas with my Dad, where over a period of 29 years, they married (twice, with a short-lived divorce in between), had five kids, and went broke and recovered several times. Mom went back to high school at the age of 40, after having five kids, and completed her college degree – something few west Texas women did back then.

When my dad died mom had to sell everything to pay off all the loans owned for large construction equipment, leaving us nothing. We lived in a tiny little house on less than $300 a month, which we wouldn’t have had if mom hadn’t completed her college degree and become a teacher. 

My low point came when the father of my children and I divorced. I though marriage and love were forever, and I thought I’d never recover, but I did. We all did.  

Our nation and world have grit too. We’ve recovered from civil wars and world wars lasting decades, cancer, many financial devastations, and other pandemics. 911 banded us together as a nation to fight a common enemy, and the COVID-19 pandemic could have had the same effect, but instead it became politicized. 

It seems everything has become so much more politicized and emotional since the elections of Barack Obama and Donald Trump. I've never see so much anger and hatred. We seem on the verge of another civil war, but the battle lines won't be geographic, they'll be political. I believe we are being manipulated through social media, to incite hate, fear and division, and to break down the American bond, to overpower us. 

But just as my mom and dad rose above their challenges, I rose above mine, and our nation and world have risen above many, but not all their challenges, America MUST wake up to the fact that “United we stand, Divided we fall”. 

It may take a while, and more pain and suffering, but we’re going to be OK.

Cluster Critiques

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow

When a potentially damaging indiscretion occurs with a celebrity or public figure, “fixers” execute what is called “catch and kill”. Catch/pay off parties to the activity, and kill/legally (or illegally) stop the possibility of public disclosure. Ronan Farrow’s book is primarily about Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’s decades-long, serial rape and sexual harassment of young actresses dependent upon his perceived make-or-break power. 

As a reporter for NBC, Farrow pursued a years-long campaign to bring Weinstein to justice, and probably also to enhance his journalistic career. This book is pretty much the blow-by-blow (no pun intended) of his efforts, which ends with Weinstein’s fall from his throne. 

Farrow’s own family’s scandals involving his father, Woody Allen’s alleged sexual abuse of his adopted daughter are an underlying thread running through this expose. 

Despite Weinstein’s hideous proclivities being common knowledge in the industry, NBC foot-dragging and despicable (but entertaining) legal, investigative and PR hanky-panky shielded him far too long. Seems the only people who didn’t know about Weinstein’s predatory and illegal activities were his friends Meryl Streep and Hillary Clinton. I can't help but wonder if they were exploiting his power for their own purposes and just looking the other way. If so, that’s troubling too.  

Farrow throws in the revolting Matt Lauer story, which according to NBC staff-gossip, everyone knew about – everyone including, Tom Brokaw. Katie Couric, Hoda Kotb and others. No one was innocent. Good book.

The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith (aka JK Rowling)

Are our standards different for genre writing then literary fiction? Does the added burden of crafting a mystery or plotting a thriller suck all the creativity out a writer? I’ve slogged through so many mediocre (yet extremely popular) genre books, desperately searching for the magic combination of writing and plot excellence. Of course, when Patricia Highsmith is your benchmark, you’re a pretty harsh critic. What does this have to do with The Cuckoo's Calling. Everything, because I feel like I’ve discovered a new provider of literary mysteries. 

Subtitled “A Strike Novel” in reference to the main character of The Cuckoo's Calling, Cormoran Strike, a British war veteran turned private detective. In Strike, Galbraith smartly creates the lovable roque gals like me are such a sucker for. He’s lost his leg to a land mine in Afghanistan, can’t pay his bills, his long-time girlfriend has broken his heart, and he’s sleeping on a cot in his office. Sounds like several of my X’s.

Cuckoo is a super model who’s fall from the balcony of her London penthouse is ruled a suicide by the police – that is until her brother hires Strike to investigate her death. Galbraith plunges Strike into the world of money, high fashion, rock and roll and all their trapping, traps and players – where nothing and no one are as they seem. We know what’s going on and who did what, and then we don’t, essential elements of a good mystery, taking us right up to the final few pages with a better than average surprise ending. If you have a taste for lovable screw-ups, you’ll enjoy Cormoran Strike, and if you like a well-penned mystery, you’ll enjoy The Cuckoo’s Calling.

The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz by Erik Larson

I didn’t know I was interested in Winston Churchill’s extended family and his various ministerial minions. But then Erik Larson, author of some of the best non-fiction ever written Devil in the White City, Isaac’s Storm, Dead Wake, and In The Garden of Beast, could write about peanut butter and make it spellbinding. His latest, The Splendid and the Vile, set in the early days of WWII, is about Winston Churchill’s wife, and his son and four daughters and their spouses, all of who, like we, have flaws, and yet compose a sweetly close family. It is also about Churchill’s peculiar, though brilliant leadership style conducted within his tight circle of war advisors. For example, he often had conversations and meetings while he sat in his bathtub, or while walking around naked, puffing on his cigar and swigging from his bottomless glass of scotch whisky. This book is also about his desperate struggle to lure America into WW II for relief and support during Adolph Hitler’s relentless, cruel bombing of England - the Blitz. As I read this book in the middle, end of, beginning (not sure) of the COVID-19 pandemic it made me appreciate that things could be worse, and sadly I suspect they will be. If you love history, you’ll be charmed. If not, move on.

The Jetsetters by Amanda Eyre Ward

When asked how she dreamed up The Jetsetters, author Eyre Ward’s first and best-seller novel, she said, “One morning I was sitting in my kitchen while my kids were eating Lucky Charms … and a small voice in my mind said, Amanda, you do not belong in a Texas kitchen in a worn-out, pink bathrobe. You belong on a cruise ship balcony, gazing out at a foreign sea!” 

Dad, a bully, with the circumstances of his death leaves a smear of guilt on the entire family - inspiring a check-list of mild neurosis in the now grown kids – unsettled homosexuality, a failed acting career, and obesity. Mom, writes a saucy romance story, enters it in a writing contest, and wins the first place prize, a cruise for four. She then gently browbeats her three children into coming along. The Jetsetters packs up family disfunction and takes it on a Mediterranean cruise, providing a unique, fun setting for drama, conflict and humor. Mom just wants her kids to rise above their issues, love her, love each other, and love themselves. But can salt air fix that? 

Ward’s writing skills keep the narrative crisp and surprising, and the characters and their issues keep us turning pages. If you’re looking for a light read about people with more flaws than you, but don’t want the burden of heavy emotion and mental aerobics, here’s your book.

Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe

Many a sad story has been written about the extended (1960-1998) Catholic vs Protestant “Troubles’ in Northern Ireland. But as is often the case, in the hands of the right writer, even the most exploited and explored historic accounts can take on new life, Such is the case of Say Nothing. The story author Keefe weaves begins with, and frequently reflects back on the “disappearing” of Jean McConville, a young mother in Belfast suspected of conspiring for the wrong side in a neighborhood where taking sides means everything. But the book is substantially the depressing tale of two sisters, Dolours and Marian Price, born into the militant Irish Republic Army (IRA) and suspected in the death of McConville. The account of their horrific, extended incarceration and martyrdom for other related militant activities are simultaneously inspiring and repugnant. Deftly told, Say Nothing is not only an alluring, albeit uncomfortable history lesson, but also feels eerily like a cautionary tale of what happens when religious zealotry turns a nation, neighbors and even families against each other. If you are interested in the history of the Troubles of Northern Ireland, read it. Otherwise, you can check this one off your list.

Full Disclosure by Stormy Daniels

When we judge people we are asking for trouble, whether it is racial and religious prejudice, homophobia, condemnation of adult prostitution, women who make their living dancing in adult clubs and/or performing in pornography. Like a pretty wise guy once said, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”  

In her surprisingly interesting, humorous and well-penned book, Full Disclosure, author and pornographic actress, writer and director Stormy Daniels, reveals her difficult childhood, and eventual adult life in the world of “porn” and “titty-dancing” (to use her unvarnished terms), even confirming - spoiler-alert - there’s nothing real about pornography – it’s monotonous, industrial, and since she’s one of the first women in porn to rise to the level of writer/director/producer, very lucrative. Daniels seems a funny, smart, gal who doesn’t apologize for who she is, and her book, mostly received positive reviews. Yes, she slept with Donald Trump, and talks about it briefly in her book, but is candid in saying it was mutually opportunistic (and pretty gross). Let she who has not slept with someone she wished she hadn’t cast the first stone. You won’t be sorry if you read Full Disclosure.

100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren, #35

Books Can Change Your Life

I’m probably doing something terribly illegal here, but when I saw the article in today’s New York Times, The Book That Changed My Life, I read every single one of the stories and was so glad.  I was also reminded of the book that changed my life, and I knew I wanted “Books Can Change Your Life” to be my #34 of the 100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren. 

The World’s Great Religions was one of those coffee table Time-Life books so popular during the 50’s, the size and heft of a bag of cement and chocked full of colorful pictures. It talked about the ten or so most highly practiced religions of the world, and as a six-year-old I remember thinking, “Where are the Baptists?” I had no idea that come Sunday morning everyone in the world didn’t put on their best garb, grab the covered dish out of the oven, and head over to their Methodist or Baptist Church for Sunday school then church.

But in the book there were dark-skinned women in iridescent saris, cows being worshiped, rooms full of prostrate praying men and no women, cathedrals draped in gold, men with curls instead of sideburns, and statues with many arms and one foot in the air as though dancing. Who were these people? And who were Allah, Buddha and Shiva? 

In addition to attending the Methodist Church in my little home town, when doing sleep-overs with friends I also went to their churches  - Baptist, Church of Christ, Pentecostal, and Christian. Not sure why, but my Catholic buddies were never allowed to bring me along and I really wanted to go. All that getting down on your knees and the pageantry seemed so glamorous and exciting. 

The common thread of all the services I attended was “We’re right, they’re wrong and they’ll go to hell for it, and you’ll go to hell if you’re not good, but even if you’re not good, but you’re sorry, you’ll be OK”. And there seemed to be a conspicuous lack of scientific proof for any of the various beliefs. 

Significantly due to The World’s Great Religions, I grew to believe that if 8-billion people couldn’t agree, it was beyond me to reconcile. So my religion is just this: Be nice and help others when you can.  

What book changed your life?

Click on "Read More" below for “The Book That Changed My Life” from the New York Times. 

Cluster Critiques

Sea Stories: My Life in Special Operations by William H. McRaven

Gal-friend of 35+ years Nan McRaven mentioned I should check out her brother Bill’s most recent book, Sea Stories: My Life in Special Operations, and it sounded like a title my husband might enjoy listening to. We were doing our annual “Tour de Family” holiday road trip to drop off/open gifts, and then on to a couple days lying around, eating, drinking and reading at the Hotel Saint George in Marfa, and needed a good audio book to listen to in the car.

I knew William (Bill) McRaven,  a four-star Navy Admiral  in charge of the US Special Operations Command, had organized and overseen the execution of Operation Neptune Spear, the raid that led to the death of Osama bin Laden in 2011, but I learned there were lots of other things about McRaven I didn’t know, like his involvement in the capture of Saddam Hussein and the rescue of Captain Richard Phillips (played by Tom Hanks in the movie, Captain Phillips).

McRaven’s descriptions of Phillips rescue, the capture and interrogation of Hussein, and of the killing of bin Laden are thrilling, specific and well-told. His story about his SEAL training, which consisted of weeding out the weak, indecisive, and uncommitted, took up much of his book, but it also laid the foundation for McRaven’s military and life successes. 

Sea Stories was terrifically entertaining, not just because of the high-profile operations in which McRaven played leadership roles, but also because it was well-written, well-read (audible version) and because McRaven came across, aside from his amazing achievements, as a regular guy who uses profanity when called for, kicks back with a drink to relax, occasionally screws up, and even gets fired from a job.

Sea Stories will end up being on, or at least near the top of, the best books I read in 2019. Read it.

A Texas Goes to Nirvana: Hairy Arm…I mean Hari Ommmm! by Kelly Jackson

I don’t recall how and when I met Kelly Jackson (Author/Yoga Guru/Horsegal) and her sister Sally (Actress/Scouting Agent for Speilberg), but I want to be them when I grow up. They have incredible attitudes and senses of humor, and that will get you further than anything I know. 

Kelly, the younger sister (sorry SalGal), is the author of A Texan Goes To Nirvana about a recently, divorced NYC woman, Wendy, who in a desperate attempt to gather her wits and make a living decides to go to an ashram in Kentucky to get certified to teach yoga. But A Texan Goes To Nirvana isn’t just a divorce-recovery thing. We get our first clue when the receptionist at the Ashram says to Wendy, “We very much look forward to eating you,” and it just gets better, with some espionage and romance thrown in the mix.   

This is a well-written, hilarious book with a fun storyline that you will truly enjoy! Read it.

Call Me God: The Untold Story of the DC Sniper Investigation by Jim Clemente, Tim Clemente, and Peter McDonnell

I couldn’t imagine I would enjoy this book about the infamous DC sniper murders so much, but Call Me God is an excellent example of how good writing and production can elevate a story beyond its seeming potential.  Over 23 days in 2002, two snipers randomly shot and killed 10 and critically injured another three in the DC area, leaving very few clues and escaping unseen. Although the reason for the carnage, and the snipers' insistence they be called “God” isn’t revealed until the end of the book, the pace of the story, pushed by killing nearly every 24 hours - the relentless clock ticking - along with the complexities and intricacies of the investigation (behavioral, ballistics and forensics), make this a fast-paced cliff-hanger you’ll have a hard time putting down. If you like true crime and law enforcement investigations you’ll enjoy Call Me God.

The Pioneers: The Heroic Story of the Settlers Who Brought the American Ideal West by David McCullough

I have enjoyed David McCullough’s books, favorites being The Path Between the Seas, The Great Bridge, and Johnstown Flood, but I didn’t particularly enjoy The Pioneers. It says it is about the expansion of the Northwest territory between 1787 to 1863, but seemed stuck pretty much on the story of the settling of Marietta, Ohio. I love and read a lot of history, but this book was frequently dry, the characters were hard to keep straight, and I my mind tended to wander. It also seemed strangely missing information about interactions with the native populations in the area. On the positive side, you do learn about several new characters who played pivotal role in the early settlements – and that was a somewhat interesting addition to the shallow and redundant stories and characters usually offered up in historical accounts. I can’t really recommend it.

Before We were Yours: A Novel by Lisa Wingate

Before We were Yours is a fictionalize story based on one of America’s most notorious real-life scandals - in which Georgia Tann, director of a Memphis-based adoption organization, kidnapped and sold children to wealthy families all over the country. Wingate’s story is told from the perspective of two main characters. In 1939, Rill is 12 years old and she and her four younger siblings who are dirt poor but happily living on a Mississippi shanty boat are torn apart when t kidnapped and taken to an orphanage to be sold to the highest bidder. The other character is Avery, born into wealth, but struggling to feel comfortable with the expectations of her family and social circle. When she accidentally stumbles into information that raises questions about the origins of her family members,  and has a chance encounter with an elderly woman who claims to know her, she is compelled into a mystery of twist and turns. The stories of Rill and Avery overlap mysteriously and flawlessly, creating a fast-paced story that keeps the reader engaged. 

Wingate’s skill at imagining and creating very real feeling characters, and her skill at developing empathy for those characters is key to the drive of this story – characters who say things like: 

“I want a pain that has a beginning and an end, not one that goes on forever and cuts all the way to the bone,” and, “It’s funny how what you’re used to seems like it’s right even if it’s bad.” 

In our discussion of Before We were Yours at my book club, some who read the hardcover felt it wasn’t that well written, but those who listened to the audible version felt it was beautifully written, which must be a tribute to the narrator of the audible version.  Several also said  Before We were Yours felt similar to Where the Crawdads Sing, so if you read Crawdads and loved it, you may enjoy Before We were Yours as well. I’m so partial to reading nonfiction, it takes an extraordinary story to impress me.  Before We were Yours impressed me.

Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know by Malcolm Gladwell

I was beginning to think Malcom Gladwell had made so much money off The Tipping Pont, Blink, and Outliers he didn’t need or want to write again. I was wrong, but it took him six year to get back in the game with Talking to Strangers, which unlike his other writings, felt strangely grim. 

Although full of interesting stories, I was confused by Talking to Strangers. I couldn’t figure out if Gladwell was making the point that people so desperately want to trust each other that they overlook horrible realities, or if he was saying we just misunderstand each other. He references examples of us not being circumspect enough, like Hitler fooling British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain into thinking he wasn’t doing anything wrong, Larry Nassar sexually abusing female gymnasts for years, and the guy who finally busted Bernie Madoff when everybody else still thought he was a great guy.

But then Gladwell says we base our relationships with strangers on what media tells us about them - like, cops kill black people and black people are criminals - with catastrophic outcomes. He delves deeply, and in length, about Sandra Bland, a Black woman, stopped by a cop near the campus of Prairie View A&M University. The interaction between Bland and the cop eventually disintegrates into a physical confrontation and the incarceration of Ms. Bland, who is found hanged in her jail cell the next morning.  Gladwell’s conclusion, Sandra and the cop simply misunderstood each other. 

Do we trust people too much, or not enough? I can’t say I really love the book. Also, since I listened to the audible version I had to listen to a Janelle Monáe song between chapters, which seemed to have special meaning to the book, but I couldn’t understand the lyrics of the song so it was just irritating.  Gladwell’s storytelling was great as usual, but the point he was trying to make felt obtuse.  Life’s too short and there ae too many good books out there. I’m sort of sorry I spent my time on this one. 

The Book of Gutsy Women by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Chelsea Clinton

The Clinton’s don’t put out anything but good books – interesting, detailed, well-written etc. but maybe I’ve read too many of them. In spite of the fact that Gutsy Women is not about Hillary or Chelsea, but rather about many of the world’s more obscure and amazing women, each story is prefaced with sort of pithy recounts of Hillary and Chelsea’s connections to those women. I found myself wanting to skip the introductions of the women by Hillary and Chelsea and go straight to the women’s stories. Also, I listened to the audio version of the book and the contrast between Hillary’s booming, almost Barbara Jordan-ish voice, compared to the young-ish and sometimes weirdly paced voice of Chelsea, was very close to annoying. I recommend you read the hardcover or paperback version. You will learn about some inspiring, diverse, gutsy women who exhibited extraordinary courage in the paths they took in life.

Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots by Kate Devlin

I jumped head first (no pun intended) into Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots because I have an insatiable curiosity and was intrigued by the technology and history aspects of sex toys. It started off so well that within 50 pages I’d recommended it to several people. Devlin has a pretty sharp sense of humor, and has done her homework, spanning the history of sexual devices from ancient Greece to current day. And although it would be ridiculous to imagine sex devices haven’t been around forever, it was fun and funny to read about all the early sex toys. Eventually the author breeches the topic of sex robots, and some related issues I wouldn’t have even though of, like what is needed in a sex robot. Does it just need to be a penis or a place to put it, or does it need to appear human, alive, and include artificial intelligence, speech, logic, conversation? 

And then there were the ethical issues associated with sex robots, such as child-sized robots and the impact on women. Would it encourage objectification, or worse, rape? Would robots used in porn and prostitution result in less sex trafficking and exploitation? Would you believe there are already sex doll brothels all around the world?

I have to admit that I lost interest about 2/3 way through when the author seemed to languish too much in the examination of the sociological issues and the people involved, and less in the potential capacities and future of the technology and devices themselves. I finished the book feeling not satisfied. Make of that what you want.