Saturday, March 12, 2011

One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times – Chapter 67

#67 - Check all the fluids in the car every time you fill up with gas.
 Photo is of my dad, in the 30's. Check out that strong chin! No wonder he robbed my mom from the cradle!

This is one of those things mom tried to teach me that just never stuck. As a result, I buy a new car every two years.  OK, my logic is a little convoluted, but just stay with me. The reason I buy a new car every two years is because if my car is still in warranty, I know that the minute anything is wrong with the car the little light on my dash will come on that says, “needs service.” That annoying little message will insist that I take my car in to get the regular tune up, wheels rotated, “fluids” checked and replaced, etc. So I take it in. Not because I am responsible or  love my car and want to take good care of it, but rather because I hate that irritating little message lit up on my dash, and the only way I can be rid of it is to take it in for the freaking service!

Back in the days (old people say that a lot) when you pulled up to a service station (gas station to you whipper snappers) and 2-3 spiffily uniformed little guys dashed out to pump your gas, wash your windows and check you oil, it was comparatively easy to keep your car in good shape. However, I think the car and fuel industry guys (smell a conspiracy theory yet?) got together and screwed us (again.) I suspect that their meeting in the 1960’s went something like this: Click on Read More Below...

Auto Industry Guy: So, gentlemen (no women in the room of course), how can we make more money?

Fuel Industry Guy: Well, we could eliminate the men that work at our gas stations. That would save us a boatload of money.

Auto Guy: Well, that’s great for you, but what about us?

Fuel Guy: Yeah, but then women won’t want to get their hands dirty checking their oil and stuff, and their cars will burn up and they’ll have to buy another one!

Auto Guy: OK, now we’re talking. Hey, I’ve got another idea. We could put some sensors in our cars that would tell them they need service, but they’d have to come back to us for that service. Zowee, this is going to be great!

Fuel Guy: Hey, what about us? We have mechanics?

Auto Guy: Look, we’ll just build vehicles that use lots and lots of gas and you guys will make a killing.

Fuel Guy: Oh, OK, but just promise that you won’t do any of those stupid gas efficient models.

Auto Guy: No prob. I think we can ride this one for at least 50 years! By that time our kids and grandkids will be out of college and we’ll be dead.

Fuel Guy: Cool.

Back in the days (old, old, old) before they installed those little sensor lights, and when I couldn’t afford to buy a new car every two years, I burned up lots of motors. So I decided that I should make more money, which is the source of my ambition and my business success. So mom taught me to be a financial success by telling me to check all the fluids in the car every time you fill up with gas. Thanks mom! 


  1. Guess I have been lucky with used cars and it sure has been great not having a car payment for three years. It's a leap of faith for sure, but so far so good! The trick is putting away that car payment money every month and that's the hard part! :)

  2. Hi Sue,
    See these eyes so red
    Red like jungle burning bright
    Those who feel me near
    Pull the blinds and change their minds
    It's been so long so here is my updated email:

    Ha, well i thought it was a funny intro. I do hope you will write. dirk