#96 “Don't let
your sons push their sister around. If
you do, they'll treat their wives the same way.”
I stared at #96 for a long
time, and I’m not sure why. OK, that’s a lie. I know why. I didn’t want to
write about this lesson because this has been a difficult one for me my entire
life.
By the time I came into the
world, my parents were older and my siblings were grown and gone, so I had no
role models for dealing with male/female aggression/submission. Then I was
taught at church that women are subservient to men and a woman’s reward is not
on earth but in heaven. Between the
religious dogma and the lack of role models, I allowed myself to be pushed
around by my husband, and I allowed my sons to push their sister around.
When I was 28 I backlashed
dramatically to become the woman who would never be pushed around again,
plowing a 10-year swath through the male gender, showing them just how
indomitable I was. I hated men and I hated myself. Thankfully, time and a
patient husband helped me learn that it isn’t about dominance; it is about
balance.
My children were probably
damaged to a degree by my and their dad’s and society’s mistakes, but they also
benefited from our triumphs and resilience, and from this they have learned
that our lives are not measured by our mistakes, but rather by how well we
learn from those mistakes and rise above them.
So mom was right. Don't let
your sons push their sisters around. And I would add, don’t let your daughters
be pushed around either.
Posts
