Sunday, January 19, 2020

100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren, #35


Books Can Change Your Life

I’m probably doing something terribly illegal here, but when I saw the article in today’s New York Times, The Book That Changed My Life, I read every single one of the stories and was so glad.  I was also reminded of the book that changed my life, and I knew I wanted “Books Can Change Your Life” to be my #34 of the 100 Things I Want To Tell My Children And Grandchildren. 

The World’s Great Religions was one of those coffee table Time-Life books so popular during the 50’s, the size and heft of a bag of cement and chocked full of colorful pictures. It talked about the ten or so most highly practiced religions of the world, and as a six-year-old I remember thinking, “Where are the Baptists?” I had no idea that come Sunday morning everyone in the world didn’t put on their best garb, grab the covered dish out of the oven, and head over to their Methodist or Baptist Church for Sunday school then church.

But in the book there were dark-skinned women in iridescent saris, cows being worshiped, rooms full of prostrate praying men and no women, cathedrals draped in gold, men with curls instead of sideburns, and statues with many arms and one foot in the air as though dancing. Who were these people? And who were Allah, Buddha and Shiva? 

In addition to attending the Methodist Church in my little home town, when doing sleep-overs with friends I also went to their churches  - Baptist, Church of Christ, Pentecostal, and Christian. Not sure why, but my Catholic buddies were never allowed to bring me along and I really wanted to go. All that getting down on your knees and the pageantry seemed so glamorous and exciting. 

The common thread of all the services I attended was “We’re right, they’re wrong and they’ll go to hell for it, and you’ll go to hell if you’re not good, but even if you’re not good, but you’re sorry, you’ll be OK”. And there seemed to be a conspicuous lack of scientific proof for any of the various beliefs. 

Significantly due to The World’s Great Religions, I grew to believe that if 8-billion people couldn’t agree, it was beyond me to reconcile. So my religion is just this: Be nice and help others when you can.  

What book changed your life?

Click on "Read More" below for “The Book That Changed My Life from the New York Times

Cluster Critiques


Sea Stories: My Life in Special Operations by William H. McRaven

Gal-friend of 35+ years Nan McRaven mentioned I should check out her brother Bill’s most recent book, Sea Stories: My Life in Special Operations, and it sounded like a title my husband might enjoy listening to. We were doing our annual “Tour de Family” holiday road trip to drop off/open gifts, and then on to a couple days lying around, eating, drinking and reading at the Hotel Saint George in Marfa, and needed a good audio book to listen to in the car.

I knew William (Bill) McRaven,  a four-star Navy Admiral  in charge of the US Special Operations Command, had organized and overseen the execution of Operation Neptune Spear, the raid that led to the death of Osama bin Laden in 2011, but I learned there were lots of other things about McRaven I didn’t know, like his involvement in the capture of Saddam Hussein and the rescue of Captain Richard Phillips (played by Tom Hanks in the movie, Captain Phillips).

McRaven’s descriptions of Phillips rescue, the capture and interrogation of Hussein, and of the killing of bin Laden are thrilling, specific and well-told. His story about his SEAL training, which consisted of weeding out the weak, indecisive, and uncommitted, took up much of his book, but it also laid the foundation for McRaven’s military and life successes. 

Sea Stories was terrifically entertaining, not just because of the high-profile operations in which McRaven played leadership roles, but also because it was well-written, well-read (audible version) and because McRaven came across, aside from his amazing achievements, as a regular guy who uses profanity when called for, kicks back with a drink to relax, occasionally screws up, and even gets fired from a job.

Sea Stories will end up being on, or at least near the top of, the best books I read in 2019. Read it.

A Texas Goes to Nirvana: Hairy Arm…I mean Hari Ommmm! by Kelly Jackson

I don’t recall how and when I met Kelly Jackson (Author/Yoga Guru/Horsegal) and her sister Sally (Actress/Scouting Agent for Speilberg), but I want to be them when I grow up. They have incredible attitudes and senses of humor, and that will get you further than anything I know. 

Kelly, the younger sister (sorry SalGal), is the author of A Texan Goes To Nirvana about a recently, divorced NYC woman, Wendy, who in a desperate attempt to gather her wits and make a living decides to go to an ashram in Kentucky to get certified to teach yoga. But A Texan Goes To Nirvana isn’t just a divorce-recovery thing. We get our first clue when the receptionist at the Ashram says to Wendy, “We very much look forward to eating you,” and it just gets better, with some espionage and romance thrown in the mix.   

This is a well-written, hilarious book with a fun storyline that you will truly enjoy! Read it.

Call Me God: The Untold Story of the DC Sniper Investigation by Jim Clemente, Tim Clemente, and Peter McDonnell

I couldn’t imagine I would enjoy this book about the infamous DC sniper murders so much, but Call Me God is an excellent example of how good writing and production can elevate a story beyond its seeming potential.  Over 23 days in 2002, two snipers randomly shot and killed 10 and critically injured another three in the DC area, leaving very few clues and escaping unseen. Although the reason for the carnage, and the snipers' insistence they be called “God” isn’t revealed until the end of the book, the pace of the story, pushed by killing nearly every 24 hours - the relentless clock ticking - along with the complexities and intricacies of the investigation (behavioral, ballistics and forensics), make this a fast-paced cliff-hanger you’ll have a hard time putting down. If you like true crime and law enforcement investigations you’ll enjoy Call Me God.

The Pioneers: The Heroic Story of the Settlers Who Brought the American Ideal West by David McCullough

I have enjoyed David McCullough’s books, favorites being The Path Between the SeasThe Great Bridge, and Johnstown Flood, but I didn’t particularly enjoy The Pioneers. It says it is about the expansion of the Northwest territory between 1787 to 1863, but seemed stuck pretty much on the story of the settling of Marietta, Ohio. I love and read a lot of history, but this book was frequently dry, the characters were hard to keep straight, and I my mind tended to wander. It also seemed strangely missing information about interactions with the native populations in the area. On the positive side, you do learn about several new characters who played pivotal role in the early settlements – and that was a somewhat interesting addition to the shallow and redundant stories and characters usually offered up in historical accounts. I can’t really recommend it.

Before We were Yours: A Novel by Lisa Wingate

Before We were Yours is a fictionalize story based on one of America’s most notorious real-life scandals - in which Georgia Tann, director of a Memphis-based adoption organization, kidnapped and sold children to wealthy families all over the country. Wingate’s story is told from the perspective of two main characters. In 1939, Rill is 12 years old and she and her four younger siblings who are dirt poor but happily living on a Mississippi shanty boat are torn apart when t kidnapped and taken to an orphanage to be sold to the highest bidder. The other character is Avery, born into wealth, but struggling to feel comfortable with the expectations of her family and social circle. When she accidentally stumbles into information that raises questions about the origins of her family members,  and has a chance encounter with an elderly woman who claims to know her, she is compelled into a mystery of twist and turns. The stories of Rill and Avery overlap mysteriously and flawlessly, creating a fast-paced story that keeps the reader engaged. 

Wingate’s skill at imagining and creating very real feeling characters, and her skill at developing empathy for those characters is key to the drive of this story – characters who say things like: 
“I want a pain that has a beginning and an end, not one that goes on forever and cuts all the way to the bone,” and, “It’s funny how what you’re used to seems like it’s right even if it’s bad.” 

In our discussion of Before We were Yours at my book club, some who read the hardcover felt it wasn’t that well written, but those who listened to the audible version felt it was beautifully written, which must be a tribute to the narrator of the audible version.  Several also said  Before We were Yours felt similar to Where the Crawdads Sing, so if you read Crawdads and loved it, you may enjoy Before We were Yours as well. I’m so partial to reading nonfiction, it takes an extraordinary story to impress me.  Before We were Yours impressed me.


Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know by Malcolm Gladwell

I was beginning to think Malcom Gladwell had made so much money off The Tipping PontBlink, and Outliers he didn’t need or want to write again. I was wrong, but it took him six year to get back in the game with Talking to Strangers, which unlike his other writings, felt strangely grim. 

Although full of interesting stories, I was confused by Talking to Strangers. I couldn’t figure out if Gladwell was making the point that people so desperately want to trust each other that they overlook horrible realities, or if he was saying we just misunderstand each other. He references examples of us not being circumspect enough, like Hitler fooling British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain into thinking he wasn’t doing anything wrong, Larry Nassar sexually abusing female gymnasts for years, and the guy who finally busted Bernie Madoff when everybody else still thought he was a great guy.

But then Gladwell says we base our relationships with strangers on what media tells us about them - like, cops kill black people and black people are criminals - with catastrophic outcomes. He delves deeply, and in length, about Sandra Bland, a Black woman, stopped by a cop near the campus of Prairie View A&M University. The interaction between Bland and the cop eventually disintegrates into a physical confrontation and the incarceration of Ms. Bland, who is found hanged in her jail cell the next morning.  Gladwell’s conclusion, Sandra and the cop simply misunderstood each other. 

Do we trust people too much, or not enough? I can’t say I really love the book. Also, since I listened to the audible version I had to listen to a Janelle MonĂ¡e song between chapters, which seemed to have special meaning to the book, but I couldn’t understand the lyrics of the song so it was just irritating.  Gladwell’s storytelling was great as usual, but the point he was trying to make felt obtuse.  Life’s too short and there ae too many good books out there. I’m sort of sorry I spent my time on this one. 

The Book of Gutsy Women by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Chelsea Clinton

The Clinton’s don’t put out anything but good books – interesting, detailed, well-written etc. but maybe I’ve read too many of them. In spite of the fact that Gutsy Women is not about Hillary or Chelsea, but rather about many of the world’s more obscure and amazing women, each story is prefaced with sort of pithy recounts of Hillary and Chelsea’s connections to those women. I found myself wanting to skip the introductions of the women by Hillary and Chelsea and go straight to the women’s stories. Also, I listened to the audio version of the book and the contrast between Hillary’s booming, almost Barbara Jordan-ish voice, compared to the young-ish and sometimes weirdly paced voice of Chelsea, was very close to annoying. I recommend you read the hardcover or paperback version. You will learn about some inspiring, diverse, gutsy women who exhibited extraordinary courage in the paths they took in life.

Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots by Kate Devlin

I jumped head first (no pun intended) into Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots because I have an insatiable curiosity and was intrigued by the technology and history aspects of sex toys. It started off so well that within 50 pages I’d recommended it to several people. Devlin has a pretty sharp sense of humor, and has done her homework, spanning the history of sexual devices from ancient Greece to current day. And although it would be ridiculous to imagine sex devices haven’t been around forever, it was fun and funny to read about all the early sex toys. Eventually the author breeches the topic of sex robots, and some related issues I wouldn’t have even though of, like what is needed in a sex robot. Does it just need to be a penis or a place to put it, or does it need to appear human, alive, and include artificial intelligence, speech, logic, conversation? 

And then there were the ethical issues associated with sex robots, such as child-sized robots and the impact on women. Would it encourage objectification, or worse, rape? Would robots used in porn and prostitution result in less sex trafficking and exploitation? Would you believe there are already sex doll brothels all around the world?

I have to admit that I lost interest about 2/3 way through when the author seemed to languish too much in the examination of the sociological issues and the people involved, and less in the potential capacities and future of the technology and devices themselves. I finished the book feeling not satisfied. Make of that what you want.

What I’m Reading Now


The Dutch House: A Novel by Ann Patchett (Also wrote the unsurpassed Bel Canto) – A glass mansion, a runaway mom, a distant father, and a mean stepmother. 

Priced Out: The Economic and Ethical Costs of American Heath Care by Uwe E.  Reinhardt and Paul Krugman – Why America’s subpar medical system care cost so much, and what to do about it.

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow (Mia Farrow and Woody Allen’s Son) - Harvey Weinstein and Black Cube, the mysterious Israeli firm Weinstein hired to conduct blackmail intelligence to protect him from his crimes.

The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir by Samantha Power - A worldly, Irish-American transplant survives an overachieving mom and alcoholic dad to become US Ambassador to the United Nations under President Obama. 

 The Which Way Tree by Elizabeth Crook – In the Texas Hill Country during the Civil War, a young woman tracks down the panther that attacked her family, horrible scared her face, and killed her mother. 

How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence by Michael Pollan – Revived clinical interest in psychedelics.

Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Kefe – History of Northern Ireland, “the Troubles,” and the people who caused or were caught in the Troubles.

Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress by Steven Pinker –  Intellectualized optimism.

King Leopold's Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa by Adam Hochschild –  The title says it well.

Conviction by Denise Mena – A sunken yacht, a murdered family, and an international conspiracy that gets personal.