One Hundred Things My Mother Taught Me A Million Times - Chapter 93

#93 - "Always wash your mouth out with cool water to freshen your breath."

(pictured l-r, My youngest son Colt, daughter JoLene, the kids' dad Herbie, and eldest son Cuatro)

I recently spent a boatload of money to buy clothes that I wore for 20 minutes at my homecoming football game. Why only 20 minutes? Because for some reason that I don’t truly understand, it was important for me to look good for the 20 minutes that I was there, but it was even more important for me to leave quickly and talk to as few people as possible. 

The basic plan was for me to watch my daughter being presented as her class representative for Exes Homecoming Queen Friday night, and then drive her eldest daughter, Sydney, back to San Antonio for an early Saturday morning volleyball game. I watched the presentation, then slinked back to my car, all the while avoiding eye-contact with anyone who looked vaguely familiar. I did run into and visit with a few friends, best hometown gal-friend, Linda Sue Gage, across-the-street childhood friend, Suzanne Heath, and long-time acquaintances Tommy Joe Holmes and Dwayne Cash, and it was simply delightful to see and visit with them. So why didn't I stay? 

The reason I bring this up in preface to talking about mom’s #93 is because it was during my trip home for homecoming that I recalled this one of one hundred things my mom taught me a million times.  And I needed to vent.

So after the game, Sydney and I drove part way then spent the night in a small town. Next morning I woke up to discover that I didn’t have a toothbrush. I asked Sydney if I could borrow her toothbrush, and she said, “I didn’t bring one. Mom said you’d have one,” and my mom’s #93 came flooding back to me, just as all her lessons eventually do.

I said to Sydney, “Just rinse your mouth out with cool water,” while not truly believing myself that it would do much good.

“Really?” she said, less skeptically then one might expect from a near-teenaged girl.

“Sure!” I said with confidence as I bent over the sink grabbed a mouthful of cool water, sloshed it around enthusiastically, and spit it into the sink. Within seconds, my mouth, which previously tasted as scary as morning breath can, had no taste or smell whatsoever. Seriously!

Of course I can’t leave well enough alone, so I had to Google up “rinse your mouth out with water” just to see what would happen. Sure enough, on the appropriately titled “Healthy Smell” website, I kid you not, it said, “Regularly rinsing your mouth is good for general dental health.”

The Secret Race: Inside the Hidden World of the Tour de France: Doping, Cover-ups, and Winning at All Costs by Tyler Hamilton and Daniel Coyle

It feels strangely personal to be writing a review of Tyler Hamilton and Daniel Coyle’s book The Secret Race: Inside the Hidden World of the Tour de France: Doping, Cover-ups, and Winning at All Costs. 

Years ago, my husband and I fell in love on many 50-mile bike rides, and spent hours, weeks and years enraptured by Lance Armstrong’s seven wins of the Tour de France. If former Armstrong cycling team member Tyler Hamilton's accounts are true, and icons of the sport, including Lance Armstrong, LeMond, Indurain, Landis, Contador, Ullrich are all doping “cheaters,” then I feel cheated of important parts of my history, and that hurts.

Hamilton, who along with many other riders has confessed to the use of performance-enhancing drugs, presents damaging stories about  the UCI (International Cycling Union), and prolific doping at the highest ranks of professional cycling. Hamilton and co-author Coyle portray Armstrong as a particularly arrogant mastermind of deceit who took the unmatched seven Tour wins illegally, and at great cost, by injecting himself with drugs, popping pills, and administering blood transfusions. Hamilton then excuses the entire industry by saying drugs just level the playing field - if you are winning, you are doping (everybody does it).

As you may know, the press has dogged Armstrong for years about performance-enhancing drug use, in spite of the fact that he has never failed a drug test. Armstrong recently relinquished his seven Tour de France titles saying that he just didn’t want to fight anymore. The Secret Race provides Hamilton's version of the backstory that leads up to Armstrong’s decision to give up his seven Tour titles. Regardless of what happens, Lance Armstrong has been such a hero to so many – and will remain a hero for his work through LiveStrong.

I was interested in why Daniel Coyle (pictured left), a highly regarded journalist would partner with Hamilton in writing this book. Of course it could just be about the money for both of them.  I did, however, find Bicycling Magazine’s interview with Coyle interesting, and the below excerpt in particular:

Bicycling: As you mention, it’s a dark book. Some of the things that are described in it are horrible, almost ghoulish. Were you surprised about the depth of the doping and deception?

Coyle: Frankly, not really. Semi-surprised would be a good term. To me it’s a larger human story. Look at Wall Street. After deregulation those guys made terrible greedy decisions because they were part of a bad culture. It’s like what (Jonathan) Vaughters said: This is what happens when there’s no auditing. It’s a larger fabric of the way people behave in a corrupt culture. We know people are capable of astonishing things, if there’s a cheat-or-be-cheated mentality. You have the UCI in a position of promoting the sport and regulating it. There’s no way they’d have done a good job. And then along comes a guy like Armstrong who’s a great story and is going to drive all this interest in the sport. There are some situations where people manage to restrain themselves from those natural urges to cut corners, but for a lot of people the attitude is, “Why kill the golden goose?”

When I watched this year’s Tour Armstrong was conspicuously missing. It wasn’t a surprise that he didn’t ride, but what was shocking was that neither his photo nor his name were present. Armstrong and the US Postal and Discovery teams are legendary and a huge part of the history of the Tour, and their performance in the Tour brought a huge audience to the sport and tons of money. Without any mention of their and Lance Armstrong's winning Tour history, this year’s broadcast felt very strange and very wrong. Without a doubt, the doping scandals have cast a pall of sadness over the sport.

Book Review Marathon

Since I’m very behind in my book reviews, the following “quickies” are provided to catch me up!

Ghost In the Wires by Kevin Mitnick and William S. Simon

Famous hacker tells how he manipulated people, phones and computers, just for fun. Read if computers and technology fascinate you.

The Odds: A Love Story by Stewart O’Nan

Burned out couple on the verge of financial collapse take a trip to Niagara Falls. The wimp husband thinks the trip is to rekindle the marriage and win a bucket load of cash to pay off their debts. The whinny wife just wants to get it over with. Don’t bother.

Manhunt by James L. Swanson

This is the story about the 12-day hunt for John Wilkes Booth, Lincoln’s slayer. The different perspective makes an over-told story interesting. Read if you are a Lincolnphile.

Quiet by Susan Cain

This book is about research and observations on introversion. Fascinating. Read it if you like non fiction and learning new things.

Wolf Hall: A Novel by Hilary Mantel

Beautifully written story told many times before about Henry VIII and Ann Boleyn, but with a cast of thousands. Mantel is a very clever writer. Read if you like period pieces and/or are a Henry VIII-phile.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Slightly crazy woman raised in communes, home-schooled, etc. provides interesting insights into life, in the context of her very unprepared hike of the Pacific Coast Trail. Fun interesting read.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian 

by Sherman Alexie

Kid raised on a Seattle Indian reservation decides 

to go to school off the reservation. Entertaining writer 

and an interesting look into the life of the kid’s tribe
and their lifestyles and customs.